George Michael triumphantly returned in a blaze of abject failure last night at the Olympic Closing Ceremony.
After performing a relatively appropriate song - Freedom, Michael decided to perform new material. Shit material. Which was completely lost on the whole entire watching world.
Nonetheless tweets rolled in from douchebags wanting to record every thought. Like the one from "amazing", shouty Edith Bowman and some other twat, proclaiming that "He's(George Michael) still got it!".
What "it" is however, has led to much conjecture. We believe "it" is one of six things;
1. An ability to make your toes curl, cringe and squirm uncomfortably in your seat.
2. Possession of uncle-at-a-wedding-like dancing prowess.
3. A propensity to embarrassing scandals.
4. An uncontrollable, delusional ego.
5. A marijuana habit.
6. Pneumonia.
The ex-Wham! singers entry onto the stage did raise an excited and expectant feeling amongst the crowd. This was duly and gradually whittled down to satisfied and acceptant. Then to tolerant and diplomatic. And then to bored and pissed off.
Even 'Last Christmas' George, i mean for fuck sake!
