Wenger unhappy at Abba's 1974 Eurovision Song Contest award

Funny story written by Deafo

Monday, 16 January 2012

Arsene Wenger has aired his discontent at the award of the 1974 Eurovision Song contest to Glam-Rock group Abba, saying if awards were to be dished out for being easy on the eye, his side were due every accolade ever issued.

The Arsenal boss is said to be furious that the Swedish group swept the board with a graceless merging of electro synth beats with a more traditional ballad-esque chorus when his mutation of boy scouts football and a blame complex has gone unrewarded for the past seven years.

Speaking to journalists following his sides 3-2 defeat to Swansea he said, 'The whole premise of the song is wrong, plain wrong.'

'Particularly, when you consider its audience.'

'The historical connotations of the tune, it just doesn't translate to such a dumbed down European audience with little or no interest in Anglo-French disputes.'

'Which I have some sympathy for.'

'It sounds an awful lot like the problems I have with my footballing philosophy.'

Wenger continued to assert that his attacking brand of football was lost on disgruntled Arsenal fans more interested in the contents of their plate, rather than stylish way the waiter brought it to the table.

'I think we should use a similar points scoring system as the Eurovisions song contest, with highest marks going to the most stylish performance.'

'And the next highest awarded to the most graceless post match winge.'

'Just in case.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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