The Premier League season is over once more, and, as expected, it went 'down to the wire' with the final minutes of the final match of the campaign proving decisive. This season has been memorable for its non-stop, relentless cat-and-mouse chase f...
London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku. Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runw...
#Fame...I want to live forever...# so went the refrain of that 1980s blockbuster and TV series which featured forgettable attention seekers at some New York drama school, or something or other. They seemed to spend a lot of time annoying the neighbou...
Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...
Arsenal's Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, 34, has rubbished reports of retirement and claims he has the body of a 28-year-old and that body belongs to his girlfriend, Brazilian pornstar Fifi La Bumba. Lichtsteiner has made one substitute a...
Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...
"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...
The Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, yesterday renewed his contract with the club for a further 25 years, taking him through to 2043 when he will be 94. Sipping Beaujolais Nouveau through a straw, his red and white Zimmer frame tucked away in the corn...
Arsenal kicked off their UEFA Eu-Hopeless league campaign with a disastrous 3-1 home win against FC Koln. In a match that will be remembered for its intense crowd violence long after all the gutless players for Arsenal die from having no guts. An...
Arsenal football club are a team, nay a city, in crisis! The club which has only won three FA cups in four years is on the verge of collapsing because of its lack of recent success. The big question is how will Arsenal players cope with playing on a...
Who would have thought throwing £300million at a team would change them from a terrible one to a decent one? Well everyone except Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho who firmly believes the sun revolves around his giant ego. The only surprise now...
The Arsenal board of directors voted overwhelmingly to provide long serving coach Arsene Wenger with the extra resources he requested to find new talent. They unanimously agreed to do this, by giving their supporters a chance to play in home games...
Pre season for footballers is completely insane. Respected journalists lose their shit at hearing a drunk man at a bar saying Ronaldo is going to Juventus. People believe that players are moving clubs just because one of their social media team has l...
A sad, humble bunch of spineless, blank-firing Gunners led by their French fumbling manager got blown away yesterday by a flock of ravaging Eagles at the Palace last night! Now normally managers would concede honorably to such a defeat but, Messr...
More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...
One of Arsenals professional injury specialists has came out in support of the new England manager and finally clarified the position he wants to play. Surprisingly it's not left back on the fracture ward. Theo Walcott has stated that he "wants' t...
Premier League clubs have spent £475million in the month of July! Meaning on average £15.3 million a day, £634K a hour, £10K a minute and £177 a second is haemorrhaging out the clubs like blood from a stab victim. We grabbed one frightened officia...
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