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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Alexis Sanchez, the Manchester United striker, who has signed a season-long loan deal with Italian giants, Inter Milan, has said his decision to leave Old Trafford was finally taken when manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer bought Harry Maguire for £80millio...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Arsenal are prepared to add defenders Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson or midfielder Mohamed Elneny into any potential deal for Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha. The Gunners have already had a £40m offer for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast winger rejected.

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Funny story: Football Season Is Over

Football Season Is Over

The Premier League season is over once more, and, as expected, it went 'down to the wire' with the final minutes of the final match of the campaign proving decisive. This season has been memorable for its non-stop, relentless cat-and-mouse chase f...

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Funny story: Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick

Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick

London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku. Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runw...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Leg Warmers and Snoods

Where are they now? Leg Warmers and Snoods

#Fame...I want to live forever...# so went the refrain of that 1980s blockbuster and TV series which featured forgettable attention seekers at some New York drama school, or something or other. They seemed to spend a lot of time annoying the neighbou...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...

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Funny story: Football Gossip, more tales for September

Football Gossip, more tales for September

Arsenal's Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, 34, has rubbished reports of retirement and claims he has the body of a 28-year-old and that body belongs to his girlfriend, Brazilian pornstar Fifi La Bumba. Lichtsteiner has made one substitute a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip. September 2018

Football Gossip. September 2018

Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...

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Funny story: Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger signs new 25-year contract and plans 'Le Canard Mort' on retirement

Arsene Wenger signs new 25-year contract and plans 'Le Canard Mort' on retirement

The Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, yesterday renewed his contract with the club for a further 25 years, taking him through to 2043 when he will be 94. Sipping Beaujolais Nouveau through a straw, his red and white Zimmer frame tucked away in the corn...

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Funny story: Arsenal V Koln

Arsenal V Koln

Arsenal kicked off their UEFA Eu-Hopeless league campaign with a disastrous 3-1 home win against FC Koln. In a match that will be remembered for its intense crowd violence long after all the gutless players for Arsenal die from having no guts. An...

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Funny story: Arsenals Date Change

Arsenals Date Change

Arsenal football club are a team, nay a city, in crisis! The club which has only won three FA cups in four years is on the verge of collapsing because of its lack of recent success. The big question is how will Arsenal players cope with playing on a...

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Funny story: Jose's Mindset

Jose's Mindset

Who would have thought throwing £300million at a team would change them from a terrible one to a decent one? Well everyone except Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho who firmly believes the sun revolves around his giant ego. The only surprise now...

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Funny story: Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!

Cash conscious Arsenal's no cost, new player plan, gets the red card from Wenger!

The Arsenal board of directors voted overwhelmingly to provide long serving coach Arsene Wenger with the extra resources he requested to find new talent. They unanimously agreed to do this, by giving their supporters a chance to play in home games...

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Funny story: Pre Season Permutations

Pre Season Permutations

Pre season for footballers is completely insane. Respected journalists lose their shit at hearing a drunk man at a bar saying Ronaldo is going to Juventus. People believe that players are moving clubs just because one of their social media team has l...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger's Arsenal get stuffed and who does he blame?

Arsene Wenger's Arsenal get stuffed and who does he blame?

A sad, humble bunch of spineless, blank-firing Gunners led by their French fumbling manager got blown away yesterday by a flock of ravaging Eagles at the Palace last night! Now normally managers would concede honorably to such a defeat but, Messr...

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Funny story: Transfer Speculation Part Three

Transfer Speculation Part Three

More transfer news coming at you quicker than a speeding train as you lie on the tracks of life. After keeping our ears on the ground and risking getting trampled on Back and to the Left news have caught wind of five more transfer "done" deals. •...

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