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Funny story: Football clubs are under pressure to review their names so no one is offended - Arsenal are twitching

Football clubs are under pressure to review their names so no one is offended - Arsenal are twitching

British teams are considering name changes in response to sensitive public opinion. ‘Public opinion is like a powder keg,' said the Arsenal chairman. 'If we get this wrong, the result could be explosive.’ Manchester City’s new owner, Billy O’L…

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Funny story: Top Premier League Clubs To Be Forced To Buy Quota Of 'Players That Aren't Very Good' Next Season

Top Premier League Clubs To Be Forced To Buy Quota Of 'Players That Aren't Very Good' Next Season

Manchester United, and last season's Premier League champions, Manchester City, head a list of top clubs who, in a bid to bring parity to the game, will be forced to buy new players from a pool of hoofers and has-beens from the lower leagues. Live...

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Funny story: Arsenal Mikel Arteta Statement Expected Today

Arsenal Mikel Arteta Statement Expected Today

After what has seemed like an eternity in football terms, Arsenal have said they will make a statement regarding Manchester City assistant coach, Mikel Arteta, later today, though it's not known what the statement will say. Earlier this week, City...

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Seen Circling Emirates

Mauricio Pochettino Seen Circling Emirates

Mauricio Pochettino, the former Tottenham Hotspur manager, who, earlier in the week had been spotted in various locations around Manchester, was last night seen lurking around the Emirates Stadium before, during and after Arsenal's 2-1 Europa League...

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Funny story: Manchester United Unveil New Festive Kit

Manchester United Unveil New Festive Kit

Premier League strugglers, Manchester United, have revealed details of their new special festive edition strip, which, it's hoped, will produce enough sales to swell their coffers sufficiently to buy some more new players. The kit, which has more...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire In 'Hit And Run' Incident

Harry Maguire In 'Hit And Run' Incident

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who crashed into Old Trafford after an £80million summer transfer from Leicester City, has been involved in a 'hit and run' incident. Maguire, 26, was playing in his usual centre-ha...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Arsenal Might Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match In Charge

Harry Maguire: Arsenal Might Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match In Charge

The Premier League season is only six matches old, yet we already find ourselves speculating on who the first managerial casualty will be, and, with Manchester United hosting Arsenal on Monday night at Old Trafford, is it possible that Ole Gunnar Sol...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Alexis Sanchez, the Manchester United striker, who has signed a season-long loan deal with Italian giants, Inter Milan, has said his decision to leave Old Trafford was finally taken when manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer bought Harry Maguire for £80millio...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Arsenal are prepared to add defenders Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson or midfielder Mohamed Elneny into any potential deal for Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha. The Gunners have already had a £40m offer for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast winger rejected.

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Funny story: Football Season Is Over

Football Season Is Over

The Premier League season is over once more, and, as expected, it went 'down to the wire' with the final minutes of the final match of the campaign proving decisive. This season has been memorable for its non-stop, relentless cat-and-mouse chase f...

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Funny story: Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick

Someone At Uthiefa Got Massive Bung For Insane Baku Pick

London, UK - (Offside Rule): Football fans are rightly pissed at an insane Uthiefa decision to host this year’s cup final in crappy Baku. Azerbaijan’s capital city lies in a part of Western Asia best known for its lack of airport. Or a fixed runw...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Leg Warmers and Snoods

Where are they now? Leg Warmers and Snoods

#Fame...I want to live forever...# so went the refrain of that 1980s blockbuster and TV series which featured forgettable attention seekers at some New York drama school, or something or other. They seemed to spend a lot of time annoying the neighbou...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Football Gossip: Hibs, Arsenal "Hippy Crack", Tevez, Mourinho?

Hibernian defender Ryan Porteous has denied that head coach Neil Lennon has lost the dressing-room after a run of seven games without a win. Said Porteous "I can categorically confirm that it was still there after morning training". Arsenal player...

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Funny story: Football Gossip, more tales for September

Football Gossip, more tales for September

Arsenal's Switzerland defender Stephan Lichtsteiner, 34, has rubbished reports of retirement and claims he has the body of a 28-year-old and that body belongs to his girlfriend, Brazilian pornstar Fifi La Bumba. Lichtsteiner has made one substitute a...

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Funny story: Football Gossip. September 2018

Football Gossip. September 2018

Manchester United has denied that its fans created a crowd funding campaign to get manager Jose Mourinho jailed in Spain for tax fraud. United's executive vice-chairman Ed Woodward admitted that he had paid personally for an appeal to increase the so...

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Funny story: Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott

"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...

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Funny story: Arsene Wenger signs new 25-year contract and plans 'Le Canard Mort' on retirement

Arsene Wenger signs new 25-year contract and plans 'Le Canard Mort' on retirement

The Arsenal manager, Arsene Wenger, yesterday renewed his contract with the club for a further 25 years, taking him through to 2043 when he will be 94. Sipping Beaujolais Nouveau through a straw, his red and white Zimmer frame tucked away in the corn...

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