Britain: Has-Been Nation Flexes Sporting Muscles

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 27 June 2011


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Bloody Tub Thumpers

Long regarded as being an over the hill nation, oft derided by its many detractors, lampooned for its relaxed immigration policies, mocked for failing to keep the 21st Century pace, its broken infrastructure, its lack of any significant military or intellectual prowess, its tolerance of a system frequently threatening to teeter on the verge of collapse, and constant accusations of duplicity, Britain is fighting back.

Most notably in the sporting arena.

Britons, renowned for their stoicism, their sense of tolerance, and their overall humanity, are at their most dangerous when their backs are against the proverbial wall.

They tend to come out swinging, as did Muhammad Ali in the legendary Rumble In The Jungle in Zaire in 1974. He's not British, strictly speaking, but apparently there's an Irish connection, and his KO of George Foreman (The Grill Chap) encapsulates the British bulldog spirit. The British have a tendency to bounce back off the ropes, just when you think you've nailed them down.

Rory McIlroy - US Open Golf Champion, Andy Murray, still going strong at Wimbledon, David Haye, fighting to retain his World Heavyweight crown on Saturday in Germany, the 2012 Olympic Games on schedule, despite alleged ticket cock ups, Britons refuse to be cowed.

Failing all that, there's always the cricket.

And apparently they aren't all that bad as satirists.

But we've only got their word for that.

According to sources, Britain is still very much alive, and kicking like the clappers.

Ask Hitler, or can contact them via celebrity Scouse TV medium, Derk Acorah, whose mobile number is available (allegedly) from regular Spoof contributor, Iain B.

More when this reporter has been to the fridge.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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