Written by Rebel Not Taken

Monday, 20 June 2011

image for Wimbledon favourite Andy Murray calls bananas "pathetic"
"Pathetic" banana.

Childish Tennis player Andy Murray is on the naughty step again.

In another attention seeking outburst at Wimbledon he has called bananas "a pathetic fruit".
Many top players admit to enjoying bananas and openly use them during matches.

On being asked about his developing mental maturity, the petulant Scot refused to make eye contact with the interviewer and suddenly exploded into a rant about his mother's cooking. He became increasingly bored and started fidgeting.

Despite starting the interview in a positive frame of mind by telling how he "liked pears and custard", Murray's mood quickly darkened and he shouted angrily that " the pears had to be tinned and the custard's got to be cold. I don't like warm custard".

When questioned about his strategy for competing with 'the big boys', Murray boasted that he regularly "beats the holy crap" out of Rafa and Noval using his Virtual Tennis Play Station:

"Only last week i creamed Rafa 6-1 using a combination of sneaky drop shots and a string of virtual aces".

But Andy quickly became negative and started moaning that the sensible Federer doesn't play virtual tennis as much as he used to since getting married to "that dull Swiss bird".

Murray sneakily told the journalist: " Roger is boring. He was never one of my best friends anyway".

The 24 year old who split up with his first girlfriend last year after she told him to "grow up and comb his hair", has annoyed adults before by pretending that he would support any football team rather than England.

He was spotted in a sweetshop in Wimbledon Village sporting a Paraguay shirt when they played against England in the World Cup.

Reformed 'Superbrat' John McEnroe has further irritated Andy Murray by telling fans that the Scottish youth needs to "keep calm".

He has also told Virginia Wade on the BBC that unless Andy "keeps all his toys in the pram" he will never win a Grand Slam.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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