The statue of Michael Jackson is poised to become the new manager at Craven Cottage.
Fulham owner Mohamed Al Fayed has been locked in talks with the statue all day and has finally got his man.
The 'mover and shaker' Al Fayed has told reporters that Michael Jackson's statue will be the new Tommy Trinder:
"this is the best thing since Johnny Haynes first put on Brylcreem."
Celebrity fan David 'Diddy' Hamilton is delighted with the appointment:
"Michael Jackson's statue is the future of Fulham. Every game will be a 'Thriller'."
But not all fans agree that the statue is the man to take Fulham to the next level.
Terry Wideboy of the Peabody Estate has blasted the news:
"This is 'Bad'. We are in for 'Monkey Business'. Why is Mohamed bringing in that gimp?"
But after winning the Fair Play League, Al Fayed has the answer to his critics:
"Iif they don't like it they can 'Beat It'".
