Written by Rebel Not Taken

Thursday, 2 June 2011

image for 'Northern Bastard' Allardyce sacked by West Ham
Dirty Northern Bastard grub.

West Ham have terminated the contract of manager Sam Allardyce with immediate effect.

East End owner David Sullivan claims to have been led down the garden path by Big Sam and told reporters:

"We found out on Twitter that he is a dirty Northern Bastard".

Co owner David Gold claims Allardyce failed to reveal his northern background during the interview:

"He has tucked us up proper. We thought he was as cultured as us".

Karen Brady, who is on holiday in The Maldives, is relieved that the board have acted swiftly:

"Allardyce's failure to disclose his interests in breeding pigeons and eating mushy peas has given us no choice".

Lifelong Hammer fan and Twitter user Ed Butt blames the influx of foreigners for ruining his club:

"#onmeheadson ed butt..
Zola was a wop. Avram was a four by two. Allardyce keeps ferrets. End of".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
55 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more