Manchester City are poised to sign arch rivals Manchester United's want-away star Wayne Rooney with an offer the player descibes as "too good to resist, like."
City owner Sheikh Mansour, who as they say is "not from round these parts" asked his closest advisors what it would take to land Rooney.
"200 grans a week," is what Mansour thought he'd been told, an offer the player is understood to have had no hesitation in accepting.
"We'll get them from the Manchester area to start with, and begin to bus them in from places like Chorley, Rochdale and Bury later in the year as supply runs low," said Mansour.