Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

image for Wayne Rooney Shirts Go On Sale In Man City Clubshop
Rooney makes his intentions clear

Football shirts bearing the name of Wayne Rooney, the wantaway Manchester United and England striker, have gone on sale, some say a little bit prematurely, in the Manchester City clubshop.

The sky blue shirts are retailing at £52.99.

Rooney, 24, has apparently decided that his future does not lay with the Reds, a fact made clear by his refusal to discuss a renewal of his current contract which expires in 2012. Other clubs interested in signing him have been touted as Real Madrid and Chelsea, but the Sky Blues have taken up the initiative, and had some 50,000 shirts prepared for what is expected to be Rooneymania.

Rooney is believed to have been upset with United's decision to sell Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid for a world record £80million last summer, and this was compounded by the sale of ugly Argentinian Carlos Tevez to their city rivals.

A poor World Cup and subsequent disappointing displays for United, coupled with relentless media pressure over his liaisons with a prostitute, have piled even more pressure on the former Everton player, and he has decided that enough is enough, and that he will move on to pastures new.

Manchester City manager Roberto Manciti told our sports correspondent Skoob1999:

"Although he is still a Manchester United player, we are confident he will join us at Eastlands. With this in mind, we had the shirts printed, and have included him in our squad to face Arsenal on Sunday."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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