Southport controversially win the Conference North

Written by IainB

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

image for Southport controversially win the Conference North
It's all kicking off at Fleetwood

Southport football club have won the Conference North, 2009-2010 in controversial circumstances, beating local rivals Fleetwood Town by one point.

Earlier in the season, Farceley were expelled from the league for not having a team, stadium, money or supporters. All their points were expunged from the league. With Southport having beaten Farceley just once, and Fleetwood twice, this left Fleetwood one point behind instead of two points in front.

An appeal against the expulsion was launched by Fleetwood chairman and sugar daddy, Cash Piles, but after a three week wait and a three day meeting, the appeal was thrown out on the grounds that the league had said this would happen in the event of a team going bust. The Conference board had even had a small wager that it would be Farceley that went bump, on account of them being a farce since the day they were formed.

Piles has declared that despite losing the appeal, the fight is not over. A team of private investigators and lawyers are on the case, attempting to prove that the entire reason that Farceley went bust was because Southport chairman, Charles Claptrap, paid for local residents in the Pudsey area (the home of Farceley) to block any planning permission for the land Farceley were attempting to sell, rendering it worthless and the team penniless.

In addition, Piles will attempt to get the club's game against Stafford replayed, due to his team having to have played it just two days after another game against Stalybridge Celtic. He believes Claptrap had instructed Stalybridge Celtic to insist on that day to play to tire his team out ahead of the game against Stafford.

"There can be no other reason," Piles said. "Why would they play on a Thursday when they had a perfectly good Tuesday a fortnight before? I've got a case, damn you! That Claptrap MUST be a crook, otherwise the thirty million I spent on the team this season will be wasted!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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