Woods' Card withdrawn for Lying About Number of Strokes Taken While in 'Honey' Traps!

Written by Morse

Saturday, 20 February 2010

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image for Woods' Card withdrawn for Lying About Number of Strokes Taken While in 'Honey' Traps!
Tiger Proposes New Media Limits on His Sex Life as More Scandals Promised!

After three months action has finally been taken to discipline Golf's Biggest Wacker, Tiger Woods, after an exhaustive investigation on the amount of strokes the star had taken when errant late night drives took him out of camera vision and into lurking 'honey' traps.

The organization which prides itself on self policing, honesty and character, said after reviewing the 'score' Tiger turned in at his mesmerizing 'confession' speech, a speech so spell binding even the NY Stock Exchange stopped trading, said several strokes were still unaccounted for.

Previously unreported 'strokes' , at last count 18, had already raised the former star's handicap to 80, well above his accredited average score of 68.5. With at least another 7 sweaty flailings discovered out of camera range, his handicap could put him at least to 87, even beyond the larger than life explosion of John Daly, who at least blew up in Public and wasn't even trying to hide anything.

It appears that Woods has to return to "Q" school and attempt to re qualify for the Tour if he hopes to regain his Professional Card to compete for big bucks and sponsorship money.

Many Gay and Lesbian groups concur that Tiger would probably be better off turning "Queer" in order to garner sympathy and regain his standing with the very progressive American Public and break into the hairstyling or the decorating industry.

Unfortunately for them, Glen Beck had to clarify that "Q" school referred to "Qualifying", and not, you know, to Adam Lambert Vocational College.

Meanwhile exploitation rags are set to be almost ready to unleash a new shit storm discussing Australian Golfer Greg Norman and estranged wife Chris Everett over text messages allegedly found on Chris's phone discussing someone's 'short game.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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