People who thought Michael Jackson's 'This Is It!' speech at London's O2 Arena was just about the funniest thing they'd ever heard were hit for six yesterday by Tiger Woods' public apology for philandering above and beyond the call of duty.
As the repentant golfer fought back tears of emotion, almost everybody in the room was fighting back laughter.
"I never saw so many damn people in one room trying so hard not to laugh," a cop told us. "The poor (?) guy was standing up there wearing his heart on his sleeve, right out there for all to see, and all people could do was laugh. I saw one guy hold it in for so long that his nose appeared to explode in a mushroom cloud of snot as he couldn't hold it in any more. Dude fell on the floor and pretended like he was having one of them epileptic seizures till a deputy hauled his ass out of there."
A security guard stationed outside the "confessional" room described scenes of confusion as people came out staggering, falling over, hooting, hollering, snorting and taken with violent coughing fits. Some people were laughing so hard that they made themselves sick.
Personally, this reporter can't see what was so hilarious.
That poor man, having to pork all those women...
More when the headshaking stops.