Staunch Liverpool supporter, Mickey MacWhack, this morning stood on an orange box outside Lime Sreet Station and told fellow scousers not to worry, because hated rivals Manchester United had no chance of making a clean sweep of trophies (a possible six at the last count) because, "It's never been done before, and had it been a possibility then the great Liverpool teams of the seventies and eighties would have surely done it."
Supported by fans of Chelsea, Arsenal, and Aston Villa, MacWhack went on to say that:
"The virus that is Manchester United must be eradicated from world football, because otherwise none of us mortals stand a fuckin' chance."
Standing serenely at the rear of the assembled crowd, Mr. Barghis Tyrol (copyright BuckwheatsButt and used here as a tribute) stood smiling in a knowing way.
"Not only do I have the world's largest penis," he told us. "But I am also a Manchester United fan. But don't let on here, or I'll probably get lynched."
Miley Cyrus was last seen gawping at Barghis Tyrol's lunchbox and allegedly drooling.
More complete fabrications when we think them up.
