Fulham FC's American star Clint Dempsey, allegedly the great grandson of pugilistic legend Jack Dempsey has revealed that team line ups displayed on stadium screens have made his life a living hell.
Dempsey explains:
"When they put my name up on the screens in block capitals, they sometimes get the L and the I in my name too close together."
Meaning, what exactly, this reporter enquired.
"So I appear as CLINT Dempsey. But just push that L and I a little closer and it looks like a U. It's ruined my life. Even my teammates don't call me CLINT any more, they call me 'Fanny' and 'Pussy' and other stuff. They think it's hilarious, but I am not amused.
"Of course you wouldn't get any such confusion on thespoof.com, to which I regularly contribute as a writer under the name of 'Muff MacDuff'. Those guys at the spoof are far more professional than the idiots who man the big screens in the PL.
"And they write better pirate stories."
More as we get it.
