"Bonking Boycs Lasted 5 Days!"

Written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

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The Corridor Of Uncertainty

Geoff Boycot was a "red hot lover" who remained "at the crease' and had "excellent technique" according to Ms Julie Creosote, a self-confessed cricket groupie.

She first met Boycott at Headingley during a break for bad light. But, says Ms Creosote, bad light never stopped Boycs. "He was all over me. He slid his hand right up my corridor of uncertainty."

After this initial meeting Ms Creosote followed Boycs all over the world. She says that they once crept in to Lord's and Boycs showed how he could get his left elbow high when "executing his shot".

However, MCC officials began to suspect that Boycs was up to no good and requested to the BBC that his press pass be withdrawn.

Ms Creosote has nothing but fond memories of her encounters with Yorkshire's finest. "He was always a little slow. And he never went for any big shots. But once he was in, he was in for days. He was not a 20/20 merchant like Andrew Flintoff. Couple of big heaves and off down the pub to brag to his mates. No, Boycs always had attention to detail, concentration, technique and he knew where his off stump was. So did I"

Geoff Boycott was unavailable for comment. Jonathan Agnew is has invited Ms Creosote to be his lunch time "guest" on Test Match Special.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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