Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 October 2008

image for Hull City's Geovanni To Become Naturalised Englishman In Time For Next World Cup Qualifier
Geovanni in his England shirt (artists impression)

Geovanni, Hull City's brilliant free-scoring Brazilian, is to become English, according to a report on a bus.

The player, real name Geovanni Deiberson Maurício, has only made one appearance for Brazil, and that came way back in 2001 in a 1-0 home defeat to Mexico. He has been out of favour since then, and now wants to resurrect his international career, but with England.

Geovanni has already enjoyed spells at Barcelona, Benfica, Cruzeiro and Manchester City, before arriving at Hull last summer, and scored some spectacular goals, including a wonder-strike in a shock 2-1 win against Arsenal at the Emirates Stadium.

When England coach Fabio Capello became aware of Geovanni, he immediately suggested that someone at the FA 'pull some strings', and the result of a hastily-arranged meeting between Trevor Brooking and the Home Office, is that the Brazilian will sign naturalisation forms and receive his British Passport next week, so that the midfielder will be available for selection for England's next World Cup qualifying game against Ukraine on 1st April.

Hull have risen to an unexpected third spot in the Premier League with the help of Geovanni's goals, and manager Phil Brown says he could do a great job for England - if only he was English!

Said Brown:

"Aye, the lad's done well for us. He could do the job of that bloody Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard rolled into one, he's that good!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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