Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 20 October 2008

image for Rob Styles Kicked Out Of Newcastle After Another Abysmal Decision
Styles is slung out of Tyneside

Rob Styles, the joke referee, was thrown out of St James Park tonight, and given a police escort to the Tyne & Wear boundary, after incensing players and fans at the Newcastle v. Manchester City game.

Styles, who clumsily and incorrectly gave Manchester United a 'gift' penalty against Bolton last month, tonight inexplicably gave another one, this time to Mark Hughes' men, and sent off Magpies' defender Habib Beye into the bargain for allegedly bringing down Robinho.

The crowd became ugly - not that they weren't ugly in the first place - and threatened to come onto the pitch to disembowel Styles, but the police kept them at bay until the final whistle.

Thereafter, Mr Styles was placed in handcuffs, and, still in his referee's kit with his Manchester United shirt underneath, he was bundled into a police van and taken to the city limits.

Sgt Olly Lumps of Tyne & Wear Police told reporters how the shit ref was then "dumped on his arse" and told to "fuck off back to Hampshire" where he lives with his wife, who also hates him.

The latest in a long line of refereeing mistakes, this one is sure to cost Styles his status as a Premier League official, and he can now go shopping at his local bookstore for a decent A-Z Roadmap in preparation for long trips to places as diverse and culturally-enriching as Yeovil, Carlisle and Wycombe.

Here at St James Park, it finished Newcastle United 2 Manchester City 2.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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