Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 10 October 2008

image for England Latest: Kazakhstan Pick Ten Defenders - Force Capello To Pick Ten Strikers
Three lions, ten strikers

England go into their World Cup match with Kazakhstan at Wembley tomorrow knowing that their Eastern European opponents will be a difficult nut to crack, particularly as Kazakh coach Bernd Storck has selected ten defenders!

Fabio Capello is well aware that his side will be up against it, especially if they fail to score an early goal, and he, in turn, has picked ten strikers in his line-up, with David James between the sticks.

It's a bold move from the Italian, but understandable, in view of the way the team performed against Andorra, where they huffed and puffed, before eventually struggling past the part-timers with two goals from Joe Cole, who is missing tomorrow.

Capello has picked Wayne Rooney, Emile Heskey, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Gabriel Agbonlahor, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Theo Walcott, Michael Owen, Darren Bent and Hull City's Dean Windass in a bid to break down the stubborn resistance he knows will be in evidence from the very first minute to the very last.

And, despite England's determination to score goals, they will have to be very careful not to come unstuck at the back, as they have no recognised defenders, although Windass does do an interesting line in 'tasty tackles'.

Prediction: 0-0

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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