Bush Gives American Team Olympic Send Off

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 21 July 2008

image for Bush Gives American Team Olympic Send Off
Bush sent the American Athletes on their way with a fiery speech

President George W. Bush hosted the U.S. Olympic team at the White House and gave them an official send off to the Chinese Olypic Games. At a dinner and reception held outside in the Rose Garden, Bush gave a speech to the athletes and their coaches.

"All ya'll are about to go to Chinatown fer the Olympic games. Now, I've run fer governor and I've run fer president and I've run this country, but I've never run in a race as big as yer goin' too."

"Please remember that you stand fer truth, justice, and the American way, just like one of them superheroes. Remember that you representuate this great nation of ours."

"Now, I hope that none of you embarrass this country because you've been injecting stereos or other stuff Keep the performance enhancing drugs like Viagra and Cialis in the bedroom where they belong!"

"Remember not to drink the water and stick to good, solid American food that isn't going to get you sick. I've made sure to send over plenty of sandwiches, tacos, burritos, and pizzas to feed you on this trip. There ain't no tomatoes in none of it, so you won't have to worry about that e pluribus unum outbreak."

"Make sure that you make your country proud by kickin' ass on them furrenurs. Sometimes thats hard to do, because some of 'em ain't smart enough to learn English and others spend all day runnin' from lions and tigers and their daddys."

"Remember the good examples that we leave you here in Washington and try to channel that energy. You folks on the shooting team should think of Dick Cheney."

"Remember that the love and prayers of your country go with you as you compete in these Olympic games. Now, go whip some ass!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more