British Black Woman Athlete Makes Drugs Comeback With New Name

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

image for British Black Woman Athlete Makes Drugs Comeback With New Name
Do you have difficulty saying their names?

Christine Ohuruogu, the British women's 400m sprinter who was banned from the sport for a year, has been handed a lifeline back into the sport, after being included in the squad for the World Championships in Osaka.

Miss Ohuruogu received a one-year ban from running in 2006 after missing three out-of-competition drugs tests. Now, she has another chance to show the British Olympic Team selecters just what she can do in both the 400m and 4X400m relay events.

The black athlete will have a major price to pay, however. Commentators from all news channels have voiced concerns over the pronounciation of Miss Ohuruogu's name. Some pronounce it 'Ohurogoo', whilst others say 'Ohorougo'. Very few pronounce it correctly.

The British Olympic Committee (BOC) has, therefore, insisted that Christine Ohuruogu be henceforth known as Christine Smith, to make commentating easier.

Christine is not happy. Even though she, herself, cannot correctly pronounce her own name, she is adamant that reasonable attempts to pronounce it should be made by the media. The authorities, though, see it differently.

Leader of Britain's 'successful' Olympic bid, former Member of Parliament, and one-time runner Lord Sebastian & Co., denied the namechange was anything to do with the athlete's drugs offence, and said:

"We want good runners, yes, certainly, but we want good runners whose names all law-abiding, white English citizens will be able to pronounce without losing their tongues in amongst their teeth. Smith is a fine, upstanding English-sounding name, and one that Steve Cram and Colin Jackson will be able to say without any difficulty whatsoever."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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