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Funny satire stories about Athletics

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Funny story: All Foreigners Sound The Bloody Same, Says UK Athletics Boss

All Foreigners Sound The Bloody Same, Says UK Athletics Boss

UK Athletics performance director, Neil Black, has today reacted to an embarrassing situation at the European Athletics Team Championships in Poland, where a shot putter was selected to run in the 4x400metres relay, by blaming the gaffe on "a technic...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt Joins Grimsby Town

Usain Bolt Joins Grimsby Town

Various news sources are this morning reporting that former World and Olympic sprint champion, Usain Bolt, has joined the League Two strugglers, Grimsby Town. The Jamaican 100m world record holder flew into Humberside Airport this morning, and, su...

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Funny story: Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

Commonwealth Games Roundup: Australian Women Come Top

The 2018 Commonwealth Games in Australia’s Gold Coast certainly lived up to their unofficial title of the “over-friendly games” in the athletes’ village with the home team’s women proving their strength in sprints, long distance and team events. It w...

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Funny story: College Football Teams Should Go Semi-Pro

College Football Teams Should Go Semi-Pro

AP --At Texas A&M, the football coach made close to $4.5 million in 2015, nearly four times what the second highest-earning public university president in the country made. At Penn State, where the president is the highest paid among all public...

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Funny story: Opinion: Flag Football Is Just Like the NFL

Opinion: Flag Football Is Just Like the NFL

If you're a fan of pro football, you admire NFL players for their extraordinary displays of skill and courage on game days. But you probably don't realize how hard those players work all week long. I do, because I play flag football. Whether you...

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Funny story: Running, As A Spectator Sport, Is Boring, Concedes Seb Coe

Running, As A Spectator Sport, Is Boring, Concedes Seb Coe

Lord Sebastian Coe, Chair of the British Olympic Association, today conceded that running, as a spectator sport, is boring. 'The Sochi Winter Olympics has once again shown us all,' Lord Coe told the BBC, 'that any number of visually interesting co...

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Funny story: Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

Scotland to be as crap at athletics as it is at football by 2016 Olympics, say Yes campaign

An independent Scotland must be given the chance to fly away from Brazil in 2016 with their heads held high, which is easy to do if your head is not weighed down with a heavy gold medal round your neck, said a man on Twitter yesterday. "Scotland m...

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Funny story: Elena Isinbaeva's "Some of My Best Friends Are Gay" Retraction Backfires

Elena Isinbaeva's "Some of My Best Friends Are Gay" Retraction Backfires

Mindful of how she now appears to civilised western European citizens who live in the 21st century and doubtless fearing that her new image as a homophobe will seriously affect her popularity, her marketability and more importantly her income, world...

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Funny story: My Week by Usain Bolt (as imagined by David Sapsted)

My Week by Usain Bolt (as imagined by David Sapsted)

SATURDAY, JULY 28: Absolutely exhausted! Had to carry the Jamaican flag halfway round the stadium at the Olympics opening ceremony last night. Never knew that travelling 200 metres could be so exhausting. Poked myself in the groin with the flag pole when I tried, unsuccessfully, to strike my Lightning Bolt pose, as requested by my Canadian sponsors, Lightning Rotors Inc. The Arctic Monkeys perform...

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Funny story: New athlete called Philip Sidowu to compete at London 2012

New athlete called Philip Sidowu to compete at London 2012

Plans for GB's athletics team have been thrown into confusion on the eve of the games with the appearance at the team's luke warm weather training camp in a field outside Keele Services off the M6 by the arrival of a new athlete. Looking remarkabl...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt Promises To Run 100m In "Under 8 Seconds"

Usain Bolt Promises To Run 100m In "Under 8 Seconds"

World champion 100m sprinter Mr Usain Bolt has stated publicly that he believes he can smash his own 9.58-second world record to "smithereens" at next month's London 2012 Olympic Games, and that he fully intends to regain the title he won in Beijing...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt is beaten in the 100 metres by a woman

Usain Bolt is beaten in the 100 metres by a woman

The World's Fastest Man Usain Bolt still holds the title of the World's Fastest Man, but he can longer claim to be the world's fastest human. Naima Bilal from Nairobi has shaved three quarters of a second off his time. "We were amazed," said Afric...

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Funny story: Starting Traps For The 2012 Olympic Games!

Starting Traps For The 2012 Olympic Games!

Following the false start and disqualification of Usain Bolt in the World Championships 100m athletics sprint final in Daegu the sports governing body the IAAF are to hold emergency talks with a view to changing the rules in time for the start of ne...

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Funny story: Usain Bolt false start overturned

Usain Bolt false start overturned

Under the new rules governing the one hundred metres sprint has left the world's fastest man demanding a recount. Usain Bolt fell victim to the one false start rule which meant after just one supposed false start by Bolt, he was disqualified, losi...

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Funny story: Idowu To Skip Royal Wedding

Idowu To Skip Royal Wedding

Triple Jump World Record holder Phillips Idowu is to skip the Royal Wedding on April 29th to raise funds. The Belgrave Harrier is planning to hop, step and jump along the route from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Abbey and then back to the Palac...

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Funny story: 'It's not fair, he's got no legs', moan UK Athletes

'It's not fair, he's got no legs', moan UK Athletes

The world of athletics is in turmoil as legless athlete, Oscar Pistorius runs what could be an Olympic qualification time. The debate goes on as to whether or not he should or shouldn't be allowed to enter alongside 'able-bodied' athletes, bearing in...

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Funny story: Pig Wins Three Peaks Race

Pig Wins Three Peaks Race

Everyone knows how versatile an animal the pig is. He's very tasty, for a start, a very clean animal too, but also very intelligent. They make great pets, and if you train them they will even pick the kids up from school, leaving you to enjoy doing...

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