Football manager Arsène Wenger has today signed for Newcastle in a deal said to be worth over £300m. The Magpies had been hoping to entice a top manager from either Arsenal or Manchester United in the hope of reviving their flagging fortunes, after caretaker boss Glenn Roeder had requested a 70% stake in the club, or else he was going to walk, taking Shearer with him.
A spokesman for Arsènal FC said that although they were sorry to see him go, they will have to retain the integrity of the Club's name, and this is something that Mr. Wenger cannot take with him, even though it's only the first few letters.
Arsène, who was originally christened Bayerne, in the hope that he would work in Germany, has stated that he has no problem changing his name to Newkie Wenger or Newcast Wenger, whichever the Chairman prefers.