BOCA CHICA, Texas - (Sports Satire) - Daisy De Antonio with The Data Today News Agency reports that the world's richest man, and the individual who many believe will be America's next president, has just informed NASCAR princess, Danica Patrick that he will be her one and only racing sponsor.
Danica, who is regarded, as the best girlfriend that NFL future Hall of Famer Aaron Rodgers has ever had, replied that the man known as "The Jumping Kangaroo" made her a monetary offer that was in her words, "Just too fucking hard to turn down!"
SIDENOTE: Miss De Antonio revealed that Danica told her that "Musky," as Marjorie Taylor Greene calls Elon, insisted that she autograph a pair of her string bikini panties as a sign of her appreciation. ■
