LONDON - (Sports Satire) - The BBC has just broken the sports story that the Manchester United Red Devils soccer team is being investigated by Scotland Yard for some under-the-table shenanigans that are way up there in the high jinks department.
BBC reporter Tyrus Bottomfiddle dug up some fucked up serious monkey business that could very well result in a stiff fine, as they say in Copenhagen, Denmark.
An inside source with Man U asserted that three of the Red Devils players have been using illegal shorts that are strictly prohibited by the Premier League.
The shorts are apparently made from recycled Humptalineum, which is used in the production of blimps, dirigibles, and women's crotchless knickers.
SIDENOTE: Of course the manager of the Red Devils Erik ten Hag says that it is all nothing more than a blimey crock of unadulterated shite, or shit, as they call it in South Dakota.
