SAN JOSE, California - (Sports Satire) - Sportsapalooza reports that the San Jose Earthquake defeated the Manchester United Red Devils by a score of 3-0.
San Jose goalie J.T. Marcinkowski had 13 fantastic blocks during the entire game. He noted that before the game he had eaten a family order of McDonalds McFries.
Manchester U player Jadon Sancho was injured when he slipped on a hot dog wiener that one of the opposing fans had tossed onto the playing field.
Red Devils fielder Wout Weghorst was flagged when he shot the finger at a group of Earthquake fans, who taunted him by calling him the SOB word.
The game was halted temporarily (for 4 minutes) when a mudslide hit the parking lot.
