THE BRONX, New York - (Sports Satire) - Reporter Tortilla Torres with The Sports Mirror covered the championship wrestling match between The American Wrestling Federation champion Chief Buffalo Belly and the European champion, Fritz The Nefarious Nazi.
She commented that both wrestlers battled viciously for 45 minutes before Chief Buffalo Belly caught Fritz in his patented Squealing Shoshoni Squaw Sleeper Hold.
Chief Buffalo Belly, is 32, stands 6-foot-10-inches tall and he weights 309 pounds. He can bench press 769 pounds and he runs the 100-yard dash in 9.3 seconds. He can also eat 8 Whopper Burgers and 3 pounds of French Fries in a single sitting.
The chief, who is half-Mohican and half-Korean, resides in Hackensack, New Jersey, and is married to one of the prettiest and sexiest Hooter's Girls east of the Mississippi River, 24-year-old Sage Carradonna.
SIDENOTE: Miss Torres reports that Chief Buffalo Belly will soon begin appearing on the front of Wheaties (The Breakfast of Champions) boxes.
