CHATTANOOGA, Tennessee – (Sports Satire) - The Turnstile Review has just stated that the “Queen of NASCAR,” Danica Patrick beat out a field of 42 race car drivers to capture the coveted Chattanooga 400 Southern Comfort Race.
TR writer Buckaroo Kazoo noted that Danica, who has been Green Bay Packers super star quarterback Aaron Rodgers girlfriend for several years, thanked her BF for encouraging her to find the ovaries to get back into the race car driver’s seat.
Miss Patrick was recently named “The Sexiest Sports Woman In The State of Kentucky.” Kazoo reported that she wore the tightest blue denim short shorts that he has ever seen to the flamboyant event.
Danica, who has commented that when she is in the race car, she does not wear any panties, won the coveted Gen. Robert E. Lee Race Car Trophy, along with a $2,000 gift certificate from Victoria’s Secret and the first prize of $185,000.
