DETROIT - (Satire News) - The Sports Bet Gazette has just issued a report that the Detroit Lions of the NFL, after over nine decades, have decided to change the colors of their uniforms.
Team owner, Shelia Firestone Ford Hamp, spoke with Zorro La Bamba of the SBG and informed him that effective immediately the Lions are tossing out their Honolulu Blue and Silver uniforms.
Ms. Hamp, remarked that after receiving hundreds of suggestions from fans under the age of 30, she decided that the new Lions uniform colors will be light brown and greyish red, which is actually the true color of an African lion.
SIDENOTE: La Bamba noted that five or six fans protested the new colors, but a spokesperson for the team said that they have two choices, (1) The can get a full ticket refund or (2) They can accept the new colors and quit fucking stressing out over what really and truly amounts to nothing.
