NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The owner of The New York Jets, Robert Wood "Woody" Johnson IV, says that he has had it with his team's lack of fans attending Jets games.
Woody noted that his team last year finished with a lousy 3-14 record, and the lowest fan numbers in the entire NFL. Even the lowly Jacksonville Jaguars, whose record was 3-15 drew more fans.
Johnson said that he tried everything to bring people out to the Jets games; including having a Dos Equis Beer for 7ยข Promotion, a Buy Four Hot Dogs and Get a Free Quart of Orange Gatorade Promotion, and the Free Jets Team Colored Panties For Every Female Over 18 Promotion.
But the most fans that they drew were 1,701 (to the panties promotion).
Johnson said that he recently talked to Cuban President Miguel Diaz-Canel, about the possibility of moving his team to Havana, where the people love watching the NFL on TV more than they like sugar cane, Rum, Daisy Duke short shorts, telling anti-Fidel Castro jokes, Ramen, and McDonalds Chicken McNuggets.
Meanwhile, Jets quarterback Joe Flacco, is not too happy about the possible move because he says he hates mosquitoes and hurricanes, and hot sauce gives him the Montezuma Revenge.
