Bob Baffert's “Giddy Up Bitch” Upsets The 7 to 1 Favorite “Quit Horsing Around” To Capture Mobile, Alabama's, 29th Running of The Cotton Candy Queen Derby

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 9 August 2022

image for Bob Baffert's “Giddy Up Bitch” Upsets The 7 to 1 Favorite “Quit Horsing Around” To Capture Mobile, Alabama's, 29th Running of The Cotton Candy Queen Derby
Baffert purchased "Giddy Up Bitch" from Kim Kardashian for $400.

MOBILE, Alabama - (Sports Satire) - Bob Baffert is known as "The Tom Brady of Thoroughbred Racing Trainers."

He has had more winners than the next top 4 trainers in the world combined.

And "Baffy's" latest horse, "Giddy Up Bitch," recently upset the favored horse "Quit Horsing Around," to win The 29th running of The Cotton Candy Queen Derby.

Sportapalooza News writer Pia Confetti interviewed Baffert at a local Giggling Guacamole Mexican Restaurant.

Miss Confetti asked Bob what his secret to being such a winner is.

The white-haired Baffert shrugged his shoulders as the took a sip of his 7 & 7 drink, and replied that it is just a gift that he was born with, kind of like NBA superstar Michael Jordan being able to jump so high, Jose Altuve being able to hit the baseball so far, and Marjorie Taylor Greene being able to bed so many men.

Bob Baffert, Sharon Osbourne, Vladimir Putin, and Zombie Zulu Yo, are all 69-years-old.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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