LOUISVILE, Kentucky - (Sports Satire) - The world's greatest thoroughbred race horse trainer Bob "The Horse Whisperer" Baffert, is thrilled to announce that his newest horse has just won it's first race.
The mare, which is named "Multiple Orgasm" easily won The Kentucky Kibbles 'n Bits Backwards Derby by 19 lengths.
The race which was actually devised by Baffert and his good friend Ryan Seacrest of "American Idol" fame, attracted 163,408 racing fans to the race which was held at Lousiville's Churchill Downs.
A 747 jumbo jet flew into Louisville from Dubai, India, with 401 filthy rich male and female passengers. The pilot who attended the race said that the passengers combined, bet over $17 million on the backwards race.
One of the passengers, who is a trillionaire named Saheed Fashoni, 68, personally bet $4.3 million on his horse "Siren of The Sand Dunes."
Fashoni's horse came in 16th out of a field of 17 horses.
SIDENOTE: One of the racing stewards said he overheard Fashoni say, "Oh well, my oil wells will pump that amount out of the ground in 20 minutes."