A 77-Year-Old Great Grandmother Swims From New York City To Portsmouth, England Backwards

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 28 July 2022

image for A 77-Year-Old Great Grandmother Swims From New York City To Portsmouth, England Backwards
Myrtle said that she got bit by jellyfish a total of 13 times.

NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - A great grandmother from Hoboken, New Jersey, has accomplished a truly amazing feat.

77-year-old Myrtle Waterhickory swam from the New York City Harbor to the Portsmouth, England harbor; and she did it backwards.

Myrtle, who up until six years ago was allergic to salt water, trained for the feat for five years.

She told reporter Traci Diddle with The National Rumblings News Agency, that she practiced swimming in the East River, the Hudson River, the Delaware River, and the Susquehanna River, sometimes at 3 in the morning.

While out in the Atlantic, Waterhickory was subjected to some fierce sun rays. She told Miss Diddle that she used Johnny Weissmuller Super Sunscreen with a sunscreen SPF number of 82.

She also noted that about halfway across the Atlantic she came upon a huge sperm whale, but she was able to scare it away by singing the song "YMCA," by The Village People.

SIDENOTE: Myrtle Waterhickory had three sponsors, Coke Zero, Joan of Arc Glow-in-the-Dark Pantiliners, and Ball Park Franks.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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