The Massachusetts Senate Has Just Approved Lobster Fights

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 29 June 2022

image for The Massachusetts Senate Has Just Approved Lobster Fights
Pound for pound, lobsters are the meanest creatures on the planet.

BOSTON - (Sports Satire) - In a story that sounds highly improbable, the senate of Massachusetts has just voted to approve state-sanctioned lobster fights.

The vote was 87 to 13 in favor of having the fights. One of the politicians who voted against the lobster fights, Sen. Tuckler F. Tuckweather, 71, a Democrat from Pawtucket, stated that he just does not like the idea of seeing his favorite food fight against his favorite food.

One of the pro-fight senators, Josh K. Pellafella, 43, Republican from Narragansett remarked that having lobster fights in the state of Massachusetts will bring in lobster fight fans from as far away as Indiana, Mississippi, and North Dakota.

Sen. Pellafella stated that those lobster fight enthusiasts will spend their money on hotels, motels, restaurants, bars, Walmart, masseuse parlors, and houses of ill repute.

SIDENOTE: Sen. Mitch McConnell, who many know is a huge cockfight fan has said that he will definitely travel up to Massachusetts to watch one of the lobster fight matches.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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