PENSACOLA, Florida – (Satire News) – The Sports Bet Gazette's Pico de Gallo, is reporting that GOP has-been "Don The Con" Trump got his big, fat, racist ass kicked by one of Russian’s toughest female wrestlers.
Trump was making a campaign speech in the parking lot of a Starbucks, when he made a comment that Svetlana Tinvavich, a well-known Russian wrestler looked like a guy with 5 o’clock shadow.
He then groped her pussy (cunt), mistakenly thinking that she would like it.
Tinvavich, who is an avowed lesbian, hauled off and kicked the Trumptard’s ass all over the parking lot, and for good measure, she opened up the bigoted bitch’s mouth and spit in it.
One of “Don The Douche Bags” security detail tried to intervene, and as he grabbed Svetlana, she grabbed a 2 by 4 and proceeded to clobber the guard all over his head, his neck, his belly, and his bibbidy boo (prick).
SIDENOTE: VP Kamala Harris has noted that the National Democratic Federation heard about Miss Tinvavich beating the shit out of Trump, and they will be donating $14,000 in cash to A Hooray For Svetlana Tinvavich Fund.