NBA Reacts to Tim Hardaway Anti Gay Slur at All Star Game

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 18 February 2007

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Hardaway's remarks are changing the game of basketball

Before the beginning of the NBA All Star celebration weekend, former All Star guard Tim Hardaway said in a press conference that he hated gays. This outburst was caused by a recent coming out of a former NBA player.

In summary, Hardaway said that he hated gays and that he did not want to be in the locker room or showers or on the bench with any of them.

The NBA responded by banning Hardaway, former player for the Golden State Warriors, Miami Heat, Dallas Mavericks, and Denver Nuggets, from the NBA All-Star Week festivities. He will not be allowed to play in the old timers game or see any of the events (dunk contest, three point shooting contest, rookie game, or all star game) in person.

Further, the league announced that the Eastern squad willd wear rainbow colored uniforms for the event, while the Western squad will be in all pink. Referees will be clad in their sleeveless leathers with biker hats.

In addition, making a basket without the ball touching the backboard or rim (known as a "swish") will now be worth four points. The cross over dribble, once the specialty of Hardaway, will now be known as the cross dresser dribble. The back door play will retain the same name, for obvious reasons. Players leaving the court will be labeled as "coming out" on the scoresheets.

The national anthem of the United States will be performed by The Village People, while Queen will perform the Canadian anthem.

In the locker rooms, showers will be communal and a new, televised game of "drop the soap" will be added to the festivities.

Finally, from now through the end of the season, the league will be known as the NBGay.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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