The pavements that we walk on are evil pan-dimensional beings from another world; according to barmpot David Icke that is.
The former sports reporter turned crackpot makes the astonishing claims in his new book "They're All Going To Get Us," due to be released next week. He told The Spoof:
"Yes it's entirely true; pavements are waiting their chance to take over the world. Just look at how many people they trip up each year and the raft of compensation claims that these incidents cause.
The pavements are not stupid. It's their intention to clog the entire legal system with claims and when the courts are busy looking the other way, then the pavements will strike!"
But top space investigator and clever science geezer, Prof. Stephen Hawking, comments:
This is probably the biggest load of bollocks that I have ever heard in my life. Pavements are slabs of concrete, by and large, and are created by man using sand and cement etc. It's not pavements we need to watch; it's the trees! I wouldn't trust the tress as far as I could throw them.
