Manchester United fan decides to watch football, so he goes to Liverpool!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 20 September 2020

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One of the last great United players to actually play the game correctly; he kicked the fucking ball forwards!

Manchester United are supposed to be a giant English football team. However, many of their fans cannot believe they are actually playing the game they are supposed to be playing!

Their players kick the ball, yes; they have eleven players on the pitch, yes; they earn millions of pounds, yes; but football is slightly different than a kick around in the park, and this is what United players are actually doing, kicking a ball around the park -
nonsensically!

The ball goes from left to right, right to left, backwards, and even further backwards, whereas other football cubs actually attempt to play the ball forwards, and shoot at their opponents' goal, something United players are failing to grasp.

Their trainer/manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, a Norwegian has failed to implement a basic tactic that is actually called football. United have football fans all over the globe, and they love football, but what United are producing is not football, it's utter crap!

This has lead to much frustration among their fans. One dedicated fan - and Liverpool-hater - has decided he loves football so much, he is willing to commit the greatest sin and crime any Manchester United fan could ever commit - he's going to watch REAL football in Liverpool!

It matters not if he watches Liverpool or Everton, he only demands real football, something the once-great Manchester United team are incapable of!

A certain Sir Alex once taught United players how to play the game, a long time ago. Ever since he retired, United fans could watch a game of chess, get more excitement, and not waste their time watching multi-millionaire United players driving Bentleys and Rolls Royces to training, and attempting to kick a ball in the wrong direction when it matters, against teams who actually play the game correctly!

The United fan, who dared cross over to Scouserland, was followed by millions of others sick to death of watching absolutely nothing, and Old Trafford, United's temple of soccer, is now a museum of relics that stores anything to do with playing football, which they once were famous for!

OLE, OLE, OLE!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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