Baseball Has Banned Cardboard Cut-Out Fans

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 25 July 2020

image for Baseball Has Banned Cardboard Cut-Out Fans
Every game at Yankee Stadium will be a "Non-Fan" and a "Non-Carboard Cut-Out Fan" game.

NEW YORK CITY – (Fake News) Major League Baseball has just issued a directive that will outlaw the current fad practice of cardboard cut-out fans in the stands.

The fad reportedly either started with the Baltimore Orioles or the Chicago White Sox, two of the biggest practical joking teams in baseball.

A spokesperson for the Orioles said that it was not them, because there is currently a cardboard shortage in Baltimore.

A representative for the White Sox said that the Orioles spokesperson is lying, because Baltimore has more cardboard than every country in Central America combined.

Major League Baseball said that they don’t give a rat’s ass who started it, they want the practice stopped. They said that, at first, it was just male, female, and kid fan cardboard cut-outs, but then it got out of hand.

The Orioles put out cardboard cut-outs of pets; including dogs, cats, and a goat.

But they said that the White Sox organization took the practice to even higher heights, with a cardboard cut-out of a full-size Tyrannosaurus Rex.

A team of baseball investigators will be monitoring the cardboard cut-out situation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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