Mason Greenwood To Be Wrapped In Cotton Wool

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 September 2019

image for Mason Greenwood To Be Wrapped In Cotton Wool
Greenwood, still wearing kit, getting ready for bed last night

Mason Greenwood, the 17-year-old Manchester United striker, is to be wrapped in cotton wool, in order that the precocious talent might avoid getting injured.

Greenwood showed extreme maturity, last night, in scoring United's only goal in their 1-0 Europa League win over Kazhakstan's FC Astana.

Old Trafford bosses see Bradford-born Greenwood as the future of the club's firing line, and a way of saving money after splashing out £80million on centeal defender Harry Maguire in the summer.

Greenwood is United's longest-serving player, having been signed by the club when he was just 6 years old.

Last night, a consignment of fluffy, billowing, scented cotton wool was making its way north to Manchester.

A lovely, soft, giant-sized baby's cot for him to sleep in has already been constructed, and United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, said:

"We mean to protect all our younger players properly. It's a matter of care."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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