Harry Maguire With His Champions League Round-up

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire With His Champions League Round-up
The Grasscutters proved too strong for Slobodan Milosevic

Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire drops in to help out with the details of the Champions League matches on a busy night in Europe.

It was a busy night of European football last night, with many of the top teams involved in the Champions League. The highlight of the games must have been Paris St. Germain's 3-0 roasting of Spanish champions, Real Madrid, with former player Angel di Maria scoring twice against his former employers.

Here's a full round-up of the other scores, read by me, Harry Maguire.

Group A:

Sporting Magaluf 2 Dynamo Dunkirk 0
Paris St. Germain 3 Real Madrid 0

Group B:

AEG Bratislava 7 Red Star Tirana 4
Galatasaratata 1 Patheticanaikos 1

Group C:

Berlin Schweinhunds 3 Brannau am Inn Keepers 2
17038 Pornograd 0 Lokomotiv Milan 0

Group D:

Sparta Kos 12 Young Boys of Paris 0
Grasscutters 5 Slobodan Milosevic 2

There'll be more results along with match reports and in-depth analysis tomorrow, including my team, Manchester Urinals, who play FC Astana in the Europa League, the competition for Champions League almost-rans.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more