Harry Maguire With His Champions League Round-up

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 19 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire With His Champions League Round-up
The Grasscutters proved too strong for Slobodan Milosevic

Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire drops in to help out with the details of the Champions League matches on a busy night in Europe.

It was a busy night of European football last night, with many of the top teams involved in the Champions League. The highlight of the games must have been Paris St. Germain's 3-0 roasting of Spanish champions, Real Madrid, with former player Angel di Maria scoring twice against his former employers.

Here's a full round-up of the other scores, read by me, Harry Maguire.

Group A:

Sporting Magaluf 2 Dynamo Dunkirk 0
Paris St. Germain 3 Real Madrid 0

Group B:

AEG Bratislava 7 Red Star Tirana 4
Galatasaratata 1 Patheticanaikos 1

Group C:

Berlin Schweinhunds 3 Brannau am Inn Keepers 2
17038 Pornograd 0 Lokomotiv Milan 0

Group D:

Sparta Kos 12 Young Boys of Paris 0
Grasscutters 5 Slobodan Milosevic 2

There'll be more results along with match reports and in-depth analysis tomorrow, including my team, Manchester Urinals, who play FC Astana in the Europa League, the competition for Champions League almost-rans.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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