Premier League Title Race Is So Exciting, That Fans Are Literally 'Touching Cloth'

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 15 April 2019

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Some disgruntled wives discussing their husbands' nerves

The Premier League title race, between Liverpool and Manchester City, has become such an exciting and edge-of-the-seat-type affair, that supporters of both teams are at fever pitch, and quite literally, "touching cloth".

Liverpool are two points ahead of their rivals having played a game more, but any advantage City might think they have with regard to the extra game, must be balanced against a tricky run-in, including fixtures against both Tottenham and Manchester United. Liverpool have, arguably, an easier ride.

The fans at both clubs are in a frenzy of expectation, knowing that any points dropped now would be disastrous. It's this knife-edge situation which has left dozens of followers of both teams in trouble with their wives.

Come Monday morning - laundry day - wives of those nervous fans have been finding more than they'd bargained for in their husbands' underwear. The cliff-hanging nature of their respective teams' results have left many with a dirty brown streak along the undercarriage of their underpants.

Betty, whose husband Roy has followed Liverpool for thirty years, said:

"It's like Bob Paisley said, or was it Joe Fagan, or Roy Evans? Or was it Kenny Dalglish? It's more important than life or death, so there's bound to be a few little accidents!"

Jean's husband, Dave, is a City fan. She was more philosophical when she said:

"He's a filthy bastard! I ought to rub 'is fucking nose in it!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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