Between A Rock And A fun Place

Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 24 March 2019

Starting his second stint as the Republic of Ireland's manager, mirthless Mick McCarthy admitted “he hated every minute” of the Republic's win in Gibraltar. His comments will resound with Sunderland and Ipswich fans as they hated every minute of his time in charge of their clubs.

Mick said:

"I hated that. I hate football. Too many lar-de-da fancy Dans running around trying to make a name for themselves with a step over. It’s disgusting and immoral."

We asked Mick why he had taken the Republic job on, as he seems to hate football, entertainment and even life itself with a passion only normally seen in the bedroom. He said:

"I hate these ponces that come to football matches calling themselves “fans” - bunch of wishy-washy wankers. “Oh look at me jumping up and down shouting because a complete stranger scored a goal”. I want to make the Republic's games so tedious that people just stand in grim stony-faced silence.

"I don’t get how these “people” dare come to football matches expecting to be “entertained”. A football match should feel like a day down the mines or a shift at the old loom. The only exuberance shown should be one solid clap if a player breaks another leg."

And why did Mick get into football we wondered? As he took a big bite out of his onion he said:

"The glamour."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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