Wimbledon, London - "Playing on grass is my all-time favourite," World No 102 seed Dustin Brown chuckled as he explained how he'd wiped the floor with Rafael Nadal at Wimbledon's Center Court today.
With temperatures soring (sick) into the high 90s the six foot five Jamaican-turned-German pro astonished the white 98% of the tournament audience with his 7-5 3-6 6-4 6-4 win over 14-times Grand Slam champion Rafael Nadal, 69.
The visible upset among the Spaniard's dismayed relatives was described by onlookers as 'General Franco's funeral all over again'.
Watching the incredible sun-soaked match in the stadium's Royal Box Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Blackshirts very nearly had an orgasm in outrage at the be-dreadlocked black man strutting his stuff.
Shortly after the third set she sent out a lady-in-waiting for some royal smelling salts after Brown had pulled up his shirt revealing a tattoo of the Jamaican singer Bob Marley smoking a large spliff.
One noisy snort up HRH's nostril soon restored Camilla's spirits enough for the gnarly old cougar to get back her zap.
"Umpire, search that man's dreadlocks!" HRH shouted.
"That's where they hide the drugs you know."