WIMBLEDON, England - (Satire News) - The Wimbledon Tennis Tournament Guild (WTTG) has finally announced why French tennis player Claude Jean Du Poupon, 27, was disqualified. According to France's Ooh La La News Agency, Du Poupon, who has a temper…
The British love their tennis! Even more than human rights! Peng Shuai was once a star tennis player from China. She posted a message that Chinese Vice Premier Zhang Gaoli raped her in 2019. And now no one has seen or heard from her. Some fine yo…
Ian Hewitt, chairman of the All England Lawn Tennis Club, is being hailed as a hero tonight after the Club’s ban on Russian players competing at Wimbledon prompted Vladimir Putin to order his military to leave Ukraine. Speaking on Russian state te…
Well, what a final that was. The ball went up then down then up again across the screen, like a game of Pong but on grass. It was literally riveting, and I was glued to my screen for the full two hours, or however long it was. It felt like longer.
Wimbledon is here again. Covid isn’t gone, but the stands are crowded with non-mask-wearing tennis fans, sitting shoulder to shoulder, presumedly spreading the pandemic while enjoying tennis. Tennis players are sliding and falling in knee clutchin…
It's just been announced that this year's Wimbledon tennis championships WILL go ahead, after all - but not as usual. The Championships, which are, and have been, ever since 1877, staged at the All England Club in London, SW19, will undergo a majo...
Madame Cholet, Great Uncle Bulgaria and Tobermory, despite their increasing ages, are set to start clearing Wimbledon Common, as and when Lockdown restrictions are lifted. The three well-known characters have been taking it easy over the past few…
Wimbledon. Former Man United dictator Alex Ferguson was sensationally escorted out of the Wimbledon Men's Final today after trying to start a fist fight with a 90-year-old woman from Liverpool. It is believed that Ferguson became irate when his enjoy...
It has come as no surprise that Amenhotep III has won yet another Wimbledon title, bringing his total number of Grand Slam victories to 37. He defeated Ramesses IV in a thrilling final match on Centre Court, where as many as 10,000 spectators watched...
Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...
The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has told close friends that she thinks tennis superstar and tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles finalist, Roger Federer, is "a bit dishy". The Duchess will attend the Centre Court spectacular with her siste...
This summer, the strawberries and cream will have extra banana - or come with a slice of pie. Wimbledon is allowing transsexuals to compete for the first time. Spokesman Netty Court said, “It is normally unfair for men and women to compete with ea...
Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
The Wimbledon Tennis Championships start on 2 July at SW19, and there are some tasty-looking female competitors taking part once again, for all those viewers who aren't that keen on watching tennis, but don't mind a bit of 'leerage'. So, for your del...
Child prodigy US tennis player, Jasper Quarante from Ohio, who was recently described as having "the world at his feet", has decided that the game is not for him, and has given up tennis to focus on his studies. Jasper, who is still only 14, has b...
Andy Murray is being hailed as a hero among sports women the world over this week, for being "automatically programmed to credit the accomplishments of women", however he refuted the claims later stating that he just cant help being a pedant. The...
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...
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