This summer, the strawberries and cream will have extra banana - or come with a slice of pie. Wimbledon is allowing transsexuals to compete for the first time. Spokesman Netty Court said, “It is normally unfair for men and women to compete with ea...
Everybody's favourite Scottish curmudgeon, Andy Murray, lost in five sets to some Spanish bloke nobody cares about, after having produced a superb fightback in the Australian Open first round. In what might or might not have been his final match,...
The Wimbledon Tennis Championships start on 2 July at SW19, and there are some tasty-looking female competitors taking part once again, for all those viewers who aren't that keen on watching tennis, but don't mind a bit of 'leerage'. So, for your del...
Child prodigy US tennis player, Jasper Quarante from Ohio, who was recently described as having "the world at his feet", has decided that the game is not for him, and has given up tennis to focus on his studies. Jasper, who is still only 14, has b...
Andy Murray is being hailed as a hero among sports women the world over this week, for being "automatically programmed to credit the accomplishments of women", however he refuted the claims later stating that he just cant help being a pedant. The...
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II was found unharmed on Friday afternoon at the All-England Lawn & Tennis Club in London. Her discovery was preceded by a failed and unnerving thirty-five minute search of the Wimbledon tennis grounds by her security...
Wimbledon, London - "Playing on grass is my all-time favourite," World No 102 seed Dustin Brown chuckled as he explained how he'd wiped the floor with Rafael Nadal at Wimbledon's Center Court today. With temperatures soring (sick) into the high 9...
Everyone was getting ill at Wimbledon. During a doubles match, the chair umpire asked Serena Williams whether she required a doctor on court, as she was having a problem holding a ball during a game partnered with her sister Venus. Serena eventually...
Bernard Cribbing has been asked to round up all the remaining Wombles on Wimbledon Common with a view to transferring them to a giant theme park to be built on the site of the soon to be demolished Wimbledon Tennis Courts. The courts, mainly a pla...
Wimbledon, London - World number one seed Serena Williams is up the duff if Wimbledon tournament rumors are to be believed. A 3-0 game of double faults saw the winner of 32 Majors pull out early citing women's problems and a 'lack of balls'. U...
Captain Jean Luc Picard has been assimilated into the Borg while watching a Tennis Tutorial DVD. Bjorn Borg alias 3 of 5 has changed the DNA of Captain Picard by sinister reverse incantations on his "Learn Tennis With The Borg" DVD. One of the fac...
Wimbledon champion, Andy Murray will have a new name when next Summer's tennis comes to SW19. The dunblane born player will change his name by deed poll to become Andy Murray's-deep-fried-Mars-bars for the duration of the tournament. This move...
In a dramatic move the fate of the Bank of England has been saved by the appointment of true winner. He is Gilbert 'Minty' Murray, who has astonished everyone with his amazing talent for finding strength from nowhere and in being at several places...
Wimbledon, LONDON: John 'I'm so beautiful' Inverdale was in 'fine' form at this years Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Championships, posing and making insane comments. The BBC send hundreds of staff to 'featherbed' the likes of John 'I'm so beautiful' Inve...
London - An astrological roller coaster weekend of terrible disasters has been triggered by the Moon/Mars conjunction in the sign of Cancer just hours ahead of Sunday's Wimbledon Men's Finals where Brit No 1 hope Andy Murray's makes his championship...
Langley, Virginia - Long distance surveillance wizards at the CIA's President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence [sic] HQ are studying latest imagery of US intelligence whistleblower Edward Snowden who has just been discovered in the third r...
A shocking day at Wimbledon saw many of the top seeded players literally fall by the wayside. Slips and falls were prevalent during the day of upsets. One top seeded player was severely reprimanded for wearing shoes with red soles. A smiling Perce...
Laura Robson, the British tennis start who stunneded 10th seed Maria Kirilenko to reach the second round of Wimbledon 2013, is to follow in the footsteps of previous British tennis 'greats' Tim Henman and Andy Murray, and, in time-honoured fashion, h...
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