Ice rink will replace Parliament...
Considering that nothing useful ever comes out of the House of Commons the PM is considering converting the chamber into a public ice rink. The practice of skating on thin ice will therefore continue.
written by attilathehungry, 10 April 2011
MP's are redundant, just as we always thought...
A new breed of inflatable MP's is set to replace most of the existing ones to save money and improve the quality of debate in the House of Commons. The Lords will simply remain fast asleep as usual.
written by attilathehungry, 10 April 2011
What Would Happen In a U.S. Government Shutdown?
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Well,there are only two requirements of the FEDERAL government: Protect the borders and deliver the mail.
written by Inhopeless, 10 April 2011
Simon Cowell at Grand National to promote new series of Britain's Got Talent
He spent the day dressed as a race marshall and was spotted by Beecher's Brook on the second lap of the race...
Flagging a dead horse
written by Bill Licks, 10 April 2011
30p Jaffa insists "I aint no Torres!!!"
written by the edgy gerbil, 10 April 2011
Scientists Have Managed to Grow a Retina in a Test Tube
In hope for a cure for blindness, scientists have managed to grow a retina in a test tube. It was grown in the glass tube so that it could see what is happening.
Weatherman Fired for Getting Forecast Wrong
… "I guess the climate did not agree with me!" He is reportedly alleged to have said.
New Bets for Grand National Next Year
Bookies have decided to provide odds for the death of a horse in forthcoming Grand Nationals. Several punters will be looking forward to a major killing.
Grand National Horror
Horror has spread in Racing circles after the death of two horses during the Grand National. It has meant many people who betted on the horses that were killed will lose their bets.
Economic Forecasts Changeable
With winds in the Atlantic pushing cold air over Britain forecasters predict lower temperatures and more rain. Long term confidence has slumped due to typhoon, earthquake and sunny army warnings.
Prince Harry Loses Best Man's Speech in Arctic
Prince Harry put his time to good use whilst stranded in the Arctic by writing his Best Man's speech for his brothers wedding. Unfortunately, a polar bear ate it and only has just over two weeks to write a new one.
Dog Barks up the Wrong Tree
A dog in York has been barking up a tree in the town. However the tree is made of cement and it is the latest demonstration of modern art in the north. A real pissing tree nearby has been ignored.
Iceland Stays out in the Cold
The people of Iceland have voted to remain cold. As a result they will not pay back the British Government for paying off misled investors in Iceland. They are keeping the frozen cod for themselves.
Cannabis Could Cure Epilepsy
Cannabis is being grown at a secret facility in the South of England in the hope that it can cure epilepsy… YEAH RIGHT!
Icelandic banks refuse to pay back their debts, what debts?
Icelandic banks caught up in the global financial meltdown are refusing to pay their debts, they claim the money got blown away in an exploding hot geyser! A load of hot air maybe?
Andy Coulson Speaks Out
Former editor of the News of the World, and onceformer communications guru for David Cameron, has spoken over the hacking scandal. 'I knew nothing' he declared 'I should have gone to Specsavers.'
Dutch amok killer was high, it was Holland after all!
After shooting and killing 6 people and then "topping" himself, it seems that the amok gunman was high as a kyte, well after all it is Holland!
alcoholic elephant exhumed in a Welsh pub!
Archaeological students are exhuming an alcoholic elephant buried in a Welsh pub! They've got nothing better to do!
Lorry driver sheds skin on the M1
Huge piles also expected.
written by James Rose, 10 April 2011
Spoofer Maliciously 'Flagged' On Facebook
Says "I've got your number mate."
written by Skoob1999, 10 April 2011
Sarkozy Threat To Punch Editor
Pretty pointless as the satirical magazine folded in 2002.....
written by grimbo, 10 April 2011
Hard Toilet Paper Made People Morally Stronger
Back in the days when people used tracing paper to wipe their arses, there were fewer teenage pregnancies. Go figure.
written by The Medium Cheese, 10 April 2011
So Farewell, Sidney Lumet
Show me someone who doesn't want to be Henry Fonda in Twelve Angry Men.
Terrific! Thank you.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 April 2011