Donald Trump Upset At Being Called Racist
Today, Donald Trump complained that he was upset that newscasters and political leaders are calling his racist attacks on President Obama "racist."
written by Albert Addlewit, 28 April 2011
Wayne Rooney, Celebrity?
Wayne Rooney claims that Scotland Yard have warned him of phone hackers who are hacking the phones of celebrities. Obviously, Rooney will not be affected.
Was Kate born in Britain?
Donald Trump has raised a Royal Wedding problem. Was Kate Middleton born in Britain? A foreigner cannot marry the ear to the throne as her ears will be incompetent. Kate's Birth Certificate has gone!
Linguist Riddle Solved
Scientists reveal the quickest was for you ro learn another language fluently is to just be born in another country.
written by Ellie James, 28 April 2011
"Double Dutch" footie club sign 18 month-old toddler!
A "Double Dutch" pro-footie club have signed an 18 month-old toddler still in his nappies, proving the fact that the Dutch can only behave normally when they're stoned!
written by Jaggedone, 28 April 2011
West Ham Sign One Year Old
In an attempt to stave off relegation West Ham have signed a one year old named Stan Matthews. 'With a name like that our future is assured' said a beaming Avram Grant, pleased with Stan's dribbling.
"Companion Animals" Are an Insult Say Spoofwriters
Spoofwriters, especially those who write snippets, are angry at having to use "companion animals" instead of the word "pets" to satisfy PC experts. "Why use 16 characters when 4 will do?" asked one.
Mourinho has a very "Messi" debacle against Barcelona!
The Special One has called everybody running football corrupt and he always tells the truth? After last nights debacle he's left himself a very "Messi" pile of crap to clear up called Real Madrid!
written by Jaggedone, 28 April 2011
Tiger Woods And The Three Little Things That He Misses The Most
Tiger Woods says that he really misses the good old days, like when he used to win golf tournaments, make television commercials, and keep his pecker in his pants.
PETA Admits That Yes, They Have Been "Bullied"
PETA announces that after ten of its offices were bombed in Spain and Mexico it has decided to take fighting bulls off their list.
Virginia Needs Second Hand Cheap Labor
The state of Virginia has stated that in the interest of cheaper labor, it is seriously considering outsourcing the growing of tobacco to Pakistan
The Young Mickey D's Employee Hit The Nail On The Head
Dick Cheney walked into a McDonald's in Tucson and asked the counter employee if he knew who he was. The employee answered "I sure do, you're that fella that John McCain calls 'Dickless' Cheney."
It's Too Late - "Don't Cry For Me Wisconsin"
After The Green Bay Packers organization threatens to leave Wisconsin for a state that cares about unions, Gov. Scott Walker offers each Green Bay Packer Player 200 pounds of Free Cheese.
The Lead Singer For Culture Club Has Grown Up
George Alan O'Dowd, better known as Boy George of Culture Club has said that he will be 50 in June and he has decided to change his name to the more appropriate Old Boy George.
Gadhafi Has A Point and He Has Made It
Colonel Gadhafi has banned the use of video games in Libya saying that it is taking too much time away from all of the fighting.
San Francisco - It's Not Just About Being The San Francisco 'Treat' Anymore
The San Francisco Chamber of Commerce in an effort to downplay the gay reputation asks all gay male residents to please grow beards, goatees, and biceps.
Ryanair have dropped adverts for Irish Sun as this steady jumper has been withdrawn from forthcoming races.
Syrians Empty the Bath
Those in Syria with a Bath have left them empty preferring hot springs.
Obama not born
After pressure from mad idiots Obama has played his trump card by admitting he was not born.
Consumer Confidence Falters
A growing number of people are displaying a lack of consumer confidence at Macdonalds.
Spoof Writer Breaks Gagging Order
The spoof writer known as In Seine has broken an injunction set by his wife by confessing that she gives him 'Nagging' orders every day.
Kate Middleton Is Still Second In Wanker's List
written by ronin47empire, 28 April 2011
Obama's Cracked Team of Advisors
The US Secretary of the Interior says that in 40 years there will be a water shortage in the Southwest. This pronouncement coming from a person who couldn't "pass water" in high school!
The Obama Chronicle
A sad story about a Chicago IL community organizer, who became an incompetent US president, then ruined the economy of a great nation. GPO 2008, Paperback, 1 term, $3 trillion, available at Wal-Mart.
Telling it like it is
One of the 2012 presidential candidates considers President Bozo Obama an economic incompetent. The White House press secretary said you mean Barack? No, I mean Bozo replied the high office seeker!
King Obama I Has No Common Sense
A DOI moratorium suspended oil drilling in 2009 when oil was $33/barrel, similarly a drilling stoppage in 2010 when oil was $91/barrel and a 2011 EPA suspension in Alaska when oil is $112/barrel!
Another Presidential Press Conference Needed
President Obama's newly released birth certificate indicates he has a mole on his butt. Birthers demand the president display it to the nation on CSPAN.
Sport Team's Official Food
Road kill has been designated as the official food of (fill in the name of your losing/despised team).
At the EPA Science Place
EPA bureaucratic scientists require 11 blends of gasoline for clean air, causing increased logistics & costs. A fuels engineer would have proven only 5 blends were needed to achieve similar results!
Then I Woke Up
President Obama said the US can't keep going from "shock to trance" based on gas prices. He then authorized oil and natural gas drilling everywhere, as fast as the EPA can give out permits!
Obama's in Your Pants Again
Obama administration is to be in your medicine chest, relative to prescription drugs. Your doctor can't possibly decide without the help of Washington DC bureaucrats if you're abusing medications!
A Gift that Keeps on Giving
Maryland chicken farmers deliver 1 million tons of free chicken crap to all the state's environmental group's offices. The farmers say "you fools think it's so easy and cheap to cleanup, you do it!
Some Fools are Never Satisfied
President Trump was heckled by rabid environmentalists while breaking ground for a new Bio-fuel/gasoline refinery. They chanted "you forgot to count the emissions from lawnmowers and farting cows!"
A Balanced Budget
Following his inauguration, President Trump converted EPA Headquarters on Pennsylvania Avenue into luxurious condominiums. The sale netted the US Treasury enough money to eliminate a budget deficit!
A Matter of Taste
Starbucks has moved ahead of Burger King and Wendy's to become the third-largest US chain restaurant. Some folks feel their coffee tastes like it was brewed at Jiffy Lube!
The Great Pretender
President Obama's national security team is playing musical chairs. People may be good, but it's political and designed to conceal the direction the president's policies are taking the USA, nowhere!