Lord Windrop not Invited to the Wedding
Lord Les Windrop close friend of Prince Harry has not been asked to the wedding. "Lord Windrop," said the MC, "suffers from severe flatulence. Were that thing to go off where the hell could we hide?"
written by Auntie Matter, 17 April 2011
FAA Gives Tired Controllers an Extra Hour to Rest
and all the turkey they can eat.
written by Adam Click, 17 April 2011
Ah, Yes, Those 15-Minute Naps Can Be So Rejuvenating!
VP Joe Biden tells reporters he fell asleep during Obama's speech because he's heard it all before. Meanwhile, sleeping air traffic controllers say they've seen the same planes land before also.
The IRS Is Doing Its Share To "Generate" Funds
The IRS gave taxpayers until Monday, April 18th to file their income taxes even though the deadline was Friday the 15th. By doing this, they figure they can charge everyone with a late fee.
Amtrak - Proves Why They Are The Leader In Passenger Travel
Amtrak plans to purchase brand new trains from India that can carry 1,000 passengers and 200 goats each for their Des Moines, Iowa to New York City route.
Donald Trump and Sarah Palin Are Putting Their "Brains" and "Hair" Together
Thus far, over 85 current members of the US Senate and Congress have recommended that Donald Trump run for president...all of them Democrats! "Trump and Palin would be perfect," stated Nancy Pelosi.
Top Marks for Trainee Pilot
A trainee pilot flew through a rainbow during his air experience examination - of course, he passed with flying colours!
More Muslim Immigrants Expected Very Soon!
Since the ban on wearing the Burka in public in France, customs officials are expecting thousands upon thousands of asylum seekers from France this week!
Muslim Council Copying Conservative Party
The Conservative party will not allow a referendum on membership of the EU - likewise, the Muslim Council of Britain will not allow a vote on wearing the Burka.
Marathon Runner Frustrated
A man who couldn't find the start of the Marathon decided the event must be a Greek myth.
Most Women Have Changing Room Rage
A survey has found most women are angered by Changing Rooms in shops selling clothes. 'I have to worry for my husband' said one 'as he is trying on women's clothes in the next booth.'
After All These Years…
A teenage couple who met in a revolving door over 20 years ago, at Harrods in London are still going around together.
Mary Poppins attacks Libya and arrests Gadaffi!
A strange female figure was seen hovering over Gadaffi's palace yesterday, it wasn't Allah, it was Mary Poppins who attacked Libya and arrested Gadaffi with her umbrella, watch it all on You Tube!
written by Jaggedone, 17 April 2011
David Cameron has decided that sending Kenneth Clarke to prison would be a waste of time.
MP's find their job bad for family life
Two thirds of MP's find being an MP bad for family life. 'My wife always thinks I'm lying and my children fall asleep when I speak to them. They think when I say Hear Hear I need help!'
Even The United Nations Has Had Its Fill Of Libya
The United Nations fed up with all of the political red tape says that they are seriously thinking about handing the Libyan mission over to Al Qaeda.
George Lopez Really Really Does Like Kirstie Alley
George Lopez says that he felt so bad about all of the mean things he said about Kirstie Alley on Dancing With The Stars that last week he voted for her and Maksim 973 times!
Today's Archaeologists Are Simply Astounding
Archaeologists have recently discovered a centuries old saber-toothed vegetarian tiger who lisped.
The Arizona Bored Teen Phone Scandal
Bored teens living in Arizona have been accused of giving cell phones to winos and then having them dial their teachers.
There Is Most Probably A Pattern Here
The FBI Serial Killer Squad has been called into action after the fifth "Nation's Oldest Person" dies within eleven months of the others!
The Traders Know Their Diets
The price of gold and silver takes a huge leap. Traders state not to worry because no matter how low the dollar sinks, you can always eat gold and silver.
The Nation's Economists Share Some Insider Info
U.S. economists encourage buying up today's dollars as they may only be worth half their value by this time next year.
The Case Of The Ever Sinking Dollar
The dollar sinks to a new low against Hogback, Kentucky's own printed $3 bill with native Kentuckians Abe Lincoln and Jefferson Davis shaking hands on the Hogback's back.