The cooker to save trees
An apparently eco-friendly solar cooker has been developed in Kenya. In a bid to to save trees, the "Kyoto box" is made of cardboard. Millions of trees will be cut down to make the cardboard!
written by norma snockers, 09 April 2009
Ben & Jerry Banana Split Up
Ben and Jerry have huge fight, breakup after Jerry started referring to himself as Ben and begins calling Ben, you freaking Baskin Robbins.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Pupil Suspended
Pupil who shot teacher in the face with a pellet gun during classroom fight is suspended. Poster and photographs of Dick Cheney found in his room.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Mother's Child Taken
Mother who deliberately smacked her son with a wet noodle in a 'moment of madness' is forced to give him up to social services.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Cyber Spying Everywhere
Cyber spying a threat, and everyone is in on it. The Dalia Lama does not wear any underwear.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Jesse Ventura Presidency
Jesse Ventura says that if he is ever elected President of the United States, he would yell the State of the Union Speech at the top of his lungs.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Disney Lawsuit!
Woman may sue Walt Disney, Inc. after getting stuck on the "It's A Small, Small, Small, Small World For An Ass That Size" ride.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Bank of England keeps rates at 0.5% - uses other methods
The Bank of England has confirmed base rates at 0.5% but has now decided to give money to anybody that asks for it at the Bank in London. Nobody is allowed over £1bn unless they're also a bank.
written by Mark James, 09 April 2009
Outrage Over Memorial Nudity
Outrage at women who were filmed taking off all their clothes from World War I Memorial in France, as no one was told beforehand.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
French Make First Move
Three British bosses taken hostage by militant workers at French factory as French make the first move on acquiring America once she goes busted.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Ringo Goes To Judge
Ringo Starr takes out a restraining order on Suha Arafat who keeps following him around demanding more of Palestinian's money.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
CIA Confirms Closure of Secret Prisons
A CIA spokesman said 'We neither confirm nor deny the existence of secret prisons because they are secret but if we did have them, which we don't, we would close them. But they don't exist. So there.'
written by Mark James, 09 April 2009
NY Post Down Again
Sales of the New York Times are down once again. Paper announces it will drop it's daily list of previous night's Bingo winners.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Buttcrackaphobia
Joe the Plumber releases study than nearly fifty percent of his customers and probably all plumber's customers have "Buttcrackaphobia".
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
NYC Taxi Driver Loses It
New York City taxi driver loses it after one-thousandth question "Which one of these was Seinfeld's apartment?". Takes customers to Bellvue and tells them, "Fifth floor!"
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Wells Fargo Profitable
US bank Wells Fargo has surprised investors by bucking the recession, saying it expects a record net profit. "Touch our money and we'll blow your heads off!", states CEO
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Panetta Closing Secret Prisons
The US has stopped running its global network of secret prisons, CIA director Leon Panetta has announced from somewhere he can't say because he was blindfolded coming in.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
President Of Iran, Defiant
Iran's president has inaugurated country's first nuclear fuel production plant, making what authorities say was a defiant speech. "We'll kill everybody if we have to", stated
President Ahmadinejad."
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
The Real and Original Fu Manchu Mustache
A hair expert discovers that the Fu Manchu mustache was not invented by Fu Manchu but by Fuma N. Chu, a gay transsexual hairstylist from Osaka, Japan.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
John and Cindy - The Stressed Out GOPers
The rumor is that John and Cindy McCain may be separating and could end up in divorce court. If they do, she'll get the beer distributorship and the seven houses. And John will get his comb-over.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The Japanese Geishas Are Comin'
The sad state of the Japanese economy has caused 1,000 geisha girls to be laid off. Most plan to move to West Hollywood, California, where they heard there is a large "Geisha" community.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The Fastest Train on Earth
The French bullet train, 'Le Quick,' has just set a new world speed record of 897 mph. Unfortunately the brakes failed and the record-setting train is now lying at the bottom of The Bay of Biscay.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The Brand New Japanese Robot
Japanese scientists have just invented the most life-like robot in history. The robot named Nip-1001 comes in three colors; canary yellow, mustard yellow, and butter yellow.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The Happiest Panda Bears In Captivity
The Shanghai Zoo after two months gives up on trying to force the zoo's only two panda bears to mate. The two bears, who zoo officials did not realize are both males are thrilled beyond belief.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The New Most Hated Man In America
Radio talk show host Glenn Beck has replaced Bernard Madoff as the most hated man in the U.S.. Beck is anti-everything. An inside source says that even his own grandmother calls him "Butt Lips" Beck.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The World's Smallest Television
The German television manufacturing giant, Sieg Hiel TV has just manufactured a television that is so small that it can fit in the human belly button.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The Youngest Mayor In America
A 22-year-old MIT grad, Justin Nickels has been elected mayor of Manitowoc, Wisconsin. Meanwhile down in Sheboygan, police have arrested an 10-year-old pimp.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
The New Japanese Howdy
The Japanese Senate has just voted to change the traditional Japanese greeting of bowing. The new Japanese greeting will consist of a fist bump, followed by a high-five, followed by a low-five.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 April 2009
Mime At AARP Convention
Old Mime at AARP convention shows up proudly showing everyone his "Ship In An Invisible Cube" creation.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
It's Nigeria Again
Hundreds of Americans, Brits, Aussies & French, who paid $500 each, show up in Abija to board Nigeria's first space shuttle were badly disappointed. "These e-mails must stop", states angry Frenchman.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Captain E-Mailed Wife Before Pirate's Boarding
The captain of a cargo ship seized by pirates had just e-mailed his wife that pirate traffic was picking up. "Skull & Crossbones flags everywhere you look", stated Captain Richard Phillips.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Dead Mayor Re-elected
Voters in the US state of Missouri have re-elected their popular mayor to a fourth term weeks after he died of a heart attack. However, they warn that he will not be re-elected if He lets Them down.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
U.S. Constitution on Toilet Paper
President Obama has decided to be honest about the Constitution. The U.S. Constitution will be put on toilet paper throughout the executive mansion, a White House spokesman said Thursday.
written by J.K. Baltzersen, 09 April 2009
New Warning On Baby's Health
Exposure to traffic pollution, could affect the development of babies in the womb, US researchers have warned. Also standing near nuclear meltdowns, taking meth could have a bad effect, if overdone.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
UN Climate Talks Split
The year's first round of UN climate talks has ended with delegates talking of a clear split between the visions of developed and developing nations, pro-global warming, pro global cooling groups.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Algerians Having Vote Charade Today
Algerians vote in poll 'charade' as each voter fills out a make-believe paper ballot and motions it's drop into an imaginary ballot box.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Iran Celebrates Nuclear Day
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is expected to announce advances in his country's nuclear program in a speech to mark National "We're Nuclear To The Teeth Day". Crowds applauds glowing report!
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Toast Diet Misunderstood
Misunderstandings about the popular new "Toast Diet" is leading many to become alcoholics. Actual diet concerns browned bread.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Shiites Rally Against Killing Of Shiite-Killing Leader
Shiites rally marks anniversary of fall of Baghdad & calls for condemnation of U.S. for ridding them of their Shiite-killing leader, Saddam Hussein. Tomorrow an anti-today's rally will be observed.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
French Drawers In A Wad
France's anti-doping agency accused non-Frenchie Lance Armstrong of violating its rules for not fully cooperating with a drug tester and says it could punish the seven-time Tour de France champion.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
UK's Top Anti-Terror Officer Resigns
UK's top anti-terror officer resigns after blunder as he stopped to show a few top-secret plans to some cuties on the corner before taking them to Prime Minister Brown.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Slaes Fall But Not As Much As Before
Retailers say sales fell in March as shoppers continue to shop cautiously and spend mainly on necessities such as food, but the drop is described this time as only "horrendous" & not "catastrophic".
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Obama Instead Of Elijah?
President Obama is inviting friends & staff to a private White House meal Thursday to mark Passover, a signal that the president intends to fulfill his promise that Jewish voters would have an ally.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Waylett The Bully Arrested
A 19-year-old actor from the Harry Potter films, James Waylett, the Hogwarts bully, has been arrested after police allegedly found cannabis in his car and his mother's home, reports Scotland Yard.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Children Interupting Sex
An eight-year study of 218 couples found 90 percent experienced a decrease in marital satisfaction once the first child was born. "Right in the middle of a hump, you'll hear this bawling", stated one.
written by Bureau, 09 April 2009
Spoof Writer Can't Think of Snippet
Spoof Writer NickFun admitted today that he can't think of any snippet short enough to fit in the snippets section. "I can only think of long stories. Not short ones", Fun told the news media.
written by NickFun, 09 April 2009
Hillary Clinton gives Russians giant Staples-like button with mistranslated word "Reset" on it.
Hillary screwing up? That was easy!
written by unknown
