Michelle Obama's "Hair Touchers"
Hundreds of hair stylists want to become Michelle Obama's personal hair stylist. The list has been cut down to three: Mr. FiFi of Beverly Hills, Mr. Skippy of Las Vegas, and Mr. Missy Missy of Miami.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Rick Warren (aka Billy Graham?)
Pro-gay marriage advocates do not want Rick Warren delivering the prayer at Obama's inaguration. The Obama side quickly reaches a compromise. Warren will speak, but he will be dressed as Billy Graham.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
President Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger of California says that he would like to be president someday. Okay Arnie no problem...move your ass on back to Austria and get elected.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Four-Star General Sarah Palin
Gov. Sarah Palin missing the limelight ever since Johnny and her got their asses kicked on Nov. 4 tells an Alaskan reporter. "Tell the 'Lower 48' that I am preparing my troops to invade Russia."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
The Big Three Big Machinery Companies
Caterpillar to scale back executive pay in 2009. Reportedly Praying Mantis and Grasshopper to follow suit.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Drugs in Newcastle?
Police in Newcastle, Yorkshire, have arrested a man after finding a bag of marijuana hidden underneath a roll of fat in his stomach. He had it hidden under a roll of fat! Talk about a pot belly!!
written by IN SEINE, 22 December 2008
People Don't Know How to Rate Articles. Gosh!
People see the stars, and if some are set, they think that IS the rating! NO people! Everyone can rate the same story! Gosh! And quit eating all the steaks! My Uncle Reeco could do it! Gosh!
written by Aspartame Boy, 22 December 2008
"How To Stretch Neck" Spam
The women in Thailand say they are receiving too many "How To Stretch Your Neck Another Two Inches" spam on their computers.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Faberge Sues Burger King
Faberge has sued Burger King over it's new cologne saying it's ingredients have been stolen from their copyrighted cologne, "Eau de Fricasse".
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Hillary Hussein Clinton
Barack Obama has requested that all his newly-named cabinet members immediately adopt the middle name Hussein during the next four years.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Cave Women Complaints
Report: Scientists now believe that cave women who lived as long as 100,000 years ago also claimed that they had nothing to wear.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Shoe-Thrower's Humble Request
Friends and family of shoe-throwing Iraqi say he has apologized and requested that Maliki return his shoes, balls.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Whole Species Gobbled Up
Greenpeace says that scores of rare and newly discovered species in the Far East are being gobbled up.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Earth Needs Bush Moves
Scientists say that the earth must copy President Bush's moves to avoid thrown shoes if it's to dodge the two asteroids
headed this way.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Madoff Requests Fraud Bailout
Madoff, arrested for fraud, claims he can pay off all the people he owes with a comparatively small bailout check from the federal government.
written by Bureau, 22 December 2008
Saint Nicked
Father Christmas was arrested yesterday when it was discovered that his "Naughty and Nice" list contravened the UK Data Protection Act.
written by IainB, 22 December 2008
AA meeting cancelled
The Anonymity Anonymous meeting scheduled for Thursday in Manchester has been cancelled due to a lack of people putting their name down.
written by IainB, 22 December 2008
Mark Hughes to Manage Camel Racing
Manchester City's new Arab owners are transferring club manager Mark Hughes to Dubai to coach their camel racing team after Sunday's disastrous West Brom' game.
written by Rusty, 22 December 2008
UK HSE Bans Work
HSE officials have declared that to comply with new recession-friendly EU rules all acts of work have now been reclassified by risk assessments as extremely dangerous and henceforth prohibited.
written by Rusty, 22 December 2008
Hallelujah tops Billboard charts
Leonard Cohen's classic Christmas carol 'Hallelujah' has topped the UK charts, with a variety of karaoke croaker entries spanning the Number One to 20 positions.
written by Rusty, 22 December 2008
Romania sets Guinness records
Romanian capital Bucharest sets Guinness world record for having 3,939 Santas on the streets giving away Pennyland gifts, and further plan record attempts for the longest Xmas cake and largest sausage
written by Rusty, 22 December 2008
Fat One at Steak
Spaniards await the draw of the world's richest lottery, El Gordo or the Fat One, with $3.2bn at stake. Britain's own El Gordo; Michael Winner who has paid £5,000 for a steak in a top Mayfair hotel.
written by IN SEINE, 22 December 2008
The Three Unwise Men
The three unwise men of GM, Ford and Chrysler found the savior and bore him gifts of IOU's, Promisory Notes and Mirth and he shall be called jesUS TAXPAYER.
written by JAB, 22 December 2008
RSPCA issues Cat care alert.
The RSPCA today issued a warning to pet owners after a man bought a tin of catfood and a jar of vaseline from Tesco Extra in Chipping Sodbury.
written by jeremy griffiths, 22 December 2008
FDA Approves Green Plants for Use as Sweeteners
A reliable source at FDA told The Spoof that their botanists have all gone blind; FDA will approve any green plant for use as a beverage sweetener. Weed futures ticked up. Moniker for details.
written by Aspartame Boy, 22 December 2008
Cold and flu tablets withdrawn: xtc complications
Cold and flu tablets on sale in Australia have been withdrawn following reports that users suffered hallucinations (pink elephants, dragons etc) and some even said that they danced all night.Give me!!
written by whatinthe world, 22 December 2008
Man OD'd on Aspartame
DENVER - Rocky Mountain high turned low for one Charl E. Boyd DOA at Rocky Mountain Arsenal EM station 9. After eating 4 oucnes of pure aspartame Charl died after three hours on an asspirator.
written by Aspartame Boy, 22 December 2008
Here Comes The Eight-Year-Old Bride!
A Saudi Arabian judge has denied an eight-year-old girl's request to divorce her 58-year-old husband. The girl said, "Judge I want a divorce, all Abdul does all day is watch the camel races on ESPN."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Space Shuttles For Sale
FOR SALE: NASA's soon-to-be-retired space shuttles - $42 million. One owner, clean, good condition, but high-as-hell mileage.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Mars: The Religious Planet
Scientist report a mineral discovered on Mars suggests the planet may have once had an environment hospitable to life. The Jehovah Witnesses pamplets that were found also raised some questions.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
"That Oprah, She Sure Has Let Herself Go." - Kirstie Alley
Geologists reported a 4.1 magnitude earthquake shaking California. They later received a phone call from LAPD saying that it was only Oprah Winfrey and Kirstie Alley out jogging.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
The Santa Ana MoFo
California winds are blowing toxic arsenic mine waste all over the state. Officials are seriously considering boarding up the state.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
Split-Fingered Snowball
Today was the opening day of Winter. Frosty the Snowman threw out the first snowball.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 22 December 2008
