Fox News' Equality Efforts
In response to a number of complaints that FOX News doesn't show enough Black and Hispanic people on the network, FOX has announced that they will now air "America's Most Wanted" TWICE a week.
written by IN SEINE, 16 December 2008
Bush To Shoe-Bomber, Bring It On!
Although millions of people saw the President of the United States dodging shoes thrown at him, few heard what was the President was saying. Now we know. It was "Bring it on! Now sock it to me!"
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Diet Discovery
Diet Doctors have discovered that eating your lunch on the pavement is a great way to curb your appetite.
written by IN SEINE, 16 December 2008
Zoo Closes for day
Chester zoo has been forced to close today after 3 kangaroos and 2 wallabies collapsed from exhaustion after chasing each other around their enclosure. The entire zoo is out of bounds temporariy.
written by IN SEINE, 16 December 2008
PETA Building Coffins
PETA has gone into the coffin-building business and they're a lot cheaper than the average funeral home models(under $800). Of course, the fur-lined versions cost quite a bit more.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Bag on Bag Action
A French bag manufacturer is to sue Carla Bruni for appearing nude on thier bags. Ms Bruni defiantly said: "I am NOT hiding anything! Obviously, there are a lot of jealous bags out there!"
written by IN SEINE, 16 December 2008
Local psychic already suffering from post-holiday blues
Some talents have their drawbacks
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Russia defies ban on Cuban cigars
Putin sends warships to pick them up
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Not again! Iraqi reporter throws shoes at Santa
Upset he didn't get Xbox last year
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Bush: Shoe missiles a sign that war not over
Gives green light to develop sandal defense system, Putin protests by banging shoe on podium
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Arab world claims victory with shoe-throwing incident
Say there's more where that came from, demand world powers surrender immediately
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Graham Harrell narrowly escapes Heisman Curse
Expected to have long successful career in NFL
written by Picwit Picayune, 16 December 2008
Cheny Approves Water-Boarding for Shoe Thrower
"I want to know where he bought those shoes, and where he learned to throw like that. I think next time I have an accident, it will involve shoes, not shotguns.", Dick said.
written by Aspartame Boy, 16 December 2008
Arab Nations Offer West Free Oil For a Year
Arabia - Arabs united in an offer of free oil for the West for one year, starting in 2009. All they want are those two shoes. "I'm tired of money. I want a trophy", the arab leader said.
written by Aspartame Boy, 16 December 2008
Flatfoots Caught Flat-Footed
Presidential security being double-checked for Obama Inaugeration after thrown-shoe incident in Iraq catches Secret Service agents flat-footed.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
New Michael Phelps Book
A new book by multi-olympic metal winning swimmer Michael Phelps will be out this coming spring. The tentative title will be "The Porpoise-Driven Life".
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Pelosi Flip-Flops
Republicans in congress accuse Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi of flip-flopping 360 degrees on offshore drilling.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Illigal Immigrant Raid In Josecarlosville
The small town of Josecarlosville, California struggles after a huge raid by government officials netted 90 percent of the town as illigal immigrants.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Bush Finally Takes Vacation
President Bush has taken a month-long vacation but should be back in Washington in time for the Barack Obama swearing in ceremony.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Monkey Put Down
The San Diego Zoo say the monkey that somehow learned to do the Macarena and demanded the music constantly be played has been put down.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Tree Sitter Falls
In Oregon, a tree sitter has fallen to her death after woodpeckers apparently weakened the limb she was sitting on this past Sunday. Friends say she had been feeding them for the past two weeks.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Castro Suffers Setback
Reports from Cuba say that Fidel Castro has suffered a setback and has been hospitalized when a cigar exploded in his face and caught his beard on fire. An investigation is now underway.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Ideal xmas gift for gay friends
Today sees the long awaited publication of the new book "How to spot poofs and penetrate people...an invaluable guide to getting bum action." by Boy George. Available at all good book shops.
written by PigmySteak, 16 December 2008
Obama Drops Rev. Wright
Barack Obama has dropped the Reverend Wright as his spiritual advisor and has chosen Father Guido Sarducci to take his place.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Bubble Living
A new study published in JAMA Magazine states that living inside a bubble can add up to as many as ten years to your life.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Southpole Crater
A huge crater has been found under the ice in Antarctica, said to be the start of the chain reaction that led to the Permian extinction. Palaeontologists are looking into it.
written by IainB, 16 December 2008
Eye Pops Out
Before a big boxing match in New York last night, the Welterweight Champion's eye popped out during a staring contest with the challenger at the weigh-in. Fight is rescheduled in March, 2009.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Titanic May Go Under
Report in the Wall Street Journal today is that along with several car companies, airlines, newspapers, etc, the Titanic Museum in Branson, Missouri may go under.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
Steinbrenner Hands Over Yankees
George Steinbrenner, owner of the New York Yankees, says he has complete confidence in his son and hands over the control of the Yankees to Billy Martin Steinbrenner.
written by Bureau, 16 December 2008
The Spammoth Cometh
Scientists at Hormel's Dead Animal research lab's have genetically-engineered a mammoth hybrid cross between a pig and an elephant whose processed flesh is a perfect match for luncheon meat.
written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Prima Donna
At last night's World's Ugliest Slut competition finals in Las Vegas first prize was awarded to Donatella Versace, taking the title from Cherie Blair, for having a mouth like a burst radial tyre.
written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Nut Allergy Outbreak
NHS doctors are investigating why group of trainee psychologists were systematically stricken with anaphylaxis while visiting a Smegmadale Mental Institution yesterday.
written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Rudolf to retire
Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer has become obsolete according to elves close to Santa. It is thought he will be sent to the knackers yard to be made into glue, thus becoming red-nosed render.
written by Midgetgems, 16 December 2008
Bush denies Shoe attack
He claims the Iraqi journalist was showing his love and appreciation for him, by offering him a great par of used home made goat leather shoes. A prized possession in Iraq.
written by disciple, 16 December 2008
Florida Man stole fridge with urine samples...
... apparently he was just taking the piss
written by matthatt, 16 December 2008
MENSA to launch social networking website for intellectuals
Physiognomy Tome
written by matthatt, 16 December 2008
Wayne Rooney look-alike
Asterisk Corset, accused of murdering a trainee accountant co-worker who taunted him about his likeness to Wayne Rooney, has been found not guilty by reason of justifiable homicide.
written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Anarchists Snuff Ikea
UK police last night arrested Turbo Tatswiller leader of the Popular Front for the Abolition of Flatpack Furniture terrorist movement which recently bombed and burned Ikea's Warrington-based factory.
written by Rusty, 16 December 2008
Outsourcing to Michigan
General Motors in Mexico says they will have to temporarily shut down three auto plants. A GM spokesperson said, "And if things don't get better, we may have to move the plants to Michigan."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 16 December 2008
